Page 54 of Attempted Compromises
Even in London, during her visits to the Gardiners, she had met gentlemen she liked well enough, but no one who moved her asDarcy did. She danced and even flirted a bit, but she never spent time dwelling on their dispositions or imagining a future with them.
So what makes Darcy so different?
Was it simply his position, his wealth, or the undeniable presence he carried into every room? Was it that he was older, more mature? Was it because he was a father, with a depth of experience she had never encountered in others?
Or was it something deeper—something about the man himself that drew her in? She could not deny that she found him handsome. His dark eyes held a quiet intensity, and his features were strong and well-formed. Yet her attraction went beyond mere appearance.
Yet how well do I truly know him?she wondered.A month’s acquaintance, a few meaningful conversations… is that enough to build a foundation for love? Or am I simply infatuated with the idea of him?
There was something about the way he carried himself—the way he spoke to Andrew with patience and affection, the way he looked after Georgiana with gentle protectiveness. It spoke of a man who cared deeply for those he loved, a man of integrity and honor.
A man who would be a good husband.
Would he even want to marry again?she asked herself.He had loved his first wife, didn’t he? Or at least, he must have cared for her. And then there is Andrew. Would he welcome astepmother into his son’s life, or does he prefer things as they are?
Elizabeth sighed, shaking her head at her own foolishness. She was allowing herself to hope, to dream of something that might never come to pass. It was dangerous, this growing attachment, and she knew she must guard her heart carefully.
Still, the thoughts wouldn’t stop coming.Could he feel anything for… me?
Elizabeth drew her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them as she considered the possibility that Darcy’s kindness toward her was nothing more than politeness. Could it be that he only valued her for her treatment of his family? That his attentions were born of gratitude rather than affection?
The idea stung, and she tried to push it away.
But what if he does feel something for me? Would I be ready to accept it?
The thought sent a thrill through her, but it also filled her with uncertainty. She had never been in love before, had never known what it was to give her heart to another. How could she be sure that what she felt for Darcy was true?
She could not deny her attraction to him—his dark eyes, his strong features, the quiet intensity of his presence. And yet, love was more than admiration. Love required trust, understanding, and a depth of connection that could not be forged in a matter of weeks.
Elizabeth let out a slow breath, her gaze sweeping over the full expanse of the valley stretched out before her. The view was breathtaking from this height. Longbourn looked small and distant, its familiar gables and chimneys just visible through the trees. Netherfield, too, lay below, its grandeur unmistakable even from so far away.
In the distance, she could see dark rainclouds beginning to gather and move closer. Knowing it would mostly likely begin raining in an hour, she was determined to make the most of her time alone in her favorite place.
Her gaze lingered on Netherfield, and she tried to imagine what life would be like within its walls, or the walls of a similar estate— Darcy’s estate. Could she see herself in a place like that, walking its halls, playing with Andrew in the nursery, sharing quiet evenings with Darcy in the drawing room? The thought was both thrilling and terrifying.
This is ridiculous. I do not even know if he has any true regard for me, and here I am already imagining things.
She could not— would not— allow herself to get carried away. Whatever her feelings for Darcy might be, she would tread carefully. She would observe, listen, and guard her heart until she was certain of his intentions—and her own.
Her thoughts drifted back to the previous day. His quiet compliments in the Philips' parlor had surprised her, as did those the day before when he asked her to dance. It was not his words alone but the way he spoke them—his sincerity and thewarmth in his voice, the way his dark eyes bored deeply into hers.
The fluttering sensation returned. Elizabeth shook her head, fighting the faint smile that had formed on her lips at the memory.That is enough, you! she scolded her heart.
Still, she could not ignore the way her stomach had leapt when she saw him ride up with Bingley. Nor could she forget how carefully he had looked after Georgiana during their time at Netherfield or the tenderness with which he had cradled Andrew.
Perhaps it is foolish to hope, but I cannot deny that I feel something. Something I have never felt before.
Elizabeth stood, brushing the dirt from her skirts. The walk down would be easier than the climb, but it would not feel nearly as satisfying. As she made her way back toward Longbourn, her thoughts remained firmly on the man she had come to know over the past month.
Only time would tell if her feelings were true and if Darcy might share them. But for now, Elizabeth allowed herself a small spark of hope, a feeling that perhaps, for the first time, love was not so far out of reach.
∞∞∞
Elizabeth’s pace quickened as she made her way down the pathfrom Oakham Mount. The grey clouds that had been gathering all morning were finally making good on their threat, and she felt the first drops of rain spatter her bonnet just as Longbourn came into view. The damp chill in the air caused her to pull her shawl tighter around her shoulders, and by the time she reached the front steps, the rain had begun to fall in earnest.
She barely managed to open the door before the downpour began in full force. Her boots, caked in mud from the walk back, left damp prints on the floor as she entered the house. Shivering slightly, she reached down to untie the laces just as Mrs. Hill appeared, tsking at the state of her hem and offering to bring a fresh pair of stockings.
“Thank you, Hill,” Elizabeth said with a warm smile, pulling off her boots just as Jane appeared in the hallway.
