Page 20 of Tethered
I think about her words instead. Today is the third, and I guess any delay in the ship’s arrival would set off alarm bells. That wouldn’t affectme, of course, but I—unfortunately—don’t want to get Tanisira in trouble. Curling my hands over the seat, I press my nails into the material so that I don’t scream.
“What’s on the seventh?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’re telling me that I have to deliver my son right into his hands?”
“I’m telling you that I’ll help you get home without endangering the jobs of the crew. I’ll figure it out.”
I deflate. Of course. It might not affect me, but Dominik would absolutely fire the crew for failing to follow his orders. And whilst I can hold the captain of the ship responsible for this shitshow, I can’t wish that on a bunch of strangers. I don’t even want to talk anymore; I’m so wracked with warring emotions. I can’t remember the last time my hands weren’t shaking.
Tanisira glances at them and visibly forces herself to relax. It almost makes me laugh. Almost.
“Let me help you next door,” she says.
I accept her offer, and she lets me lean on her because I overdid it, pulled what seems to be every single muscle in my body, and can barely take a deep breath without whimpering. As I go to lower myself onto the bed in my cabin, Tanisira keeps hold of one of my arms and helps me. The urge to pull away from her is strong, because I hate feeling incapable, but I really do need the assistance.
I let myself watch her instead, grounding myself in the efficient, methodical way she moves around the room. She gives me a hand with the clunky boots, head bowed, the smooth skin of her nape exposed. Deft fingers make quick work of the tight knots and even though Tanisira’s movements are jerky, like she’s still trying to hold back anger from earlier in the galley, the hand that curls around my calf is gentle.
I both do and don’t hate that I trust her. I’ve been alone in this for so long—in asserting what I want, in fighting for the things that matter to me—that her willingness to help me is too much. I don’t know, maybe I would feel better if she hesitated a little more. That’s insane, yes, but from a young age, I learned that I was on my own.
I hope I don’t end up regretting this.
Tanisira dims the lighting, and shadows glide across the bones of her face. “I’ll check on you in a few hours.”
Once the door closes behind her, I lie back gingerly and, despite how wretched I feel, slip into a deep sleep.
How It Usually Goes
A hand gently strokes tangled hair away from my face. I wriggle closer anyway, pressing into the warmth of the palm. I realise, as I do, that it’s been a long time since I’ve received physical affection. It’s nice.
I’m not ready to wake up, but my stomach rumbles so hard it cramps, and I open heavy eyes to find Vee curled up next to me. “Hey.”
I smile sleepily and pull him into my side, careful not to jostle my ribs. But, as he snuggles in, I don’t feel the flare of sharp pain I expected. It’s a dull ache instead, the kind that I can weather like it’s just another day. My body isn’t happy, but when is it ever?
A puff of Vee’s breath tickles my neck, and I squeeze him a little. “This is new.”
His voice is subdued. “You napped for so long, and I looked it up, and sometimes people who are hurt can go into comas. Did you know that?”
“Oh, baby, I’m fine. Just a little sore, that’s all. I don’t even have any broken bones, so you have nothing to fear. I just need rest.”
I should have known he was worried; he’s never snuggled with me like this. We’re close, but I haven’t been able to wrap my arms around him without a grumble since he was much younger. I plan to take full advantage of being able to squeeze him like a teddy bear.
My stomach rumbles again, and Vee snorts. “Someone’s hungry.”
“Ravenous.” I laugh into his hair. “Have you eaten? What time is it anyway?”
I nearly fall off the fucking bed when a feminine voice rings out. “It’s currently 17:17, UTC.”
Vee really laughs now, pulling away so he doesn’t hurt me. He’s all limbs, and they’re shaking with mirth. “It’s just Kit, Mum.”
With a hand pressed to my sore chest, I exhale slowly. “Give me a break, she hasn’t spoken to me before now.”
“She must have been deactivated in your cabin. Right, Kit?”
“Correct, Harvey.”
“Vee,” we both say at the same time. The only person who calls him Harvey is Dominik.
