Page 114 of Chaotic Curse
“I looked ahead,” I say.“I saw her dead.That’s what I saw.Chocolates with poison.Threatening notes with her name on them.A fucking live grenade, Falcon.”
He hears it.He doesn’t pretend not to.Byron wanders to the far end to handle a tab.
“Rein it in,” he says finally.“Put your head back on.”
“You want to be the pot or the kettle?”I ask.“You almost died for Savannah.”
He nods once.“I did.”
“Do you regret it?”
“No,” he says.“Not even slightly.”
We sit with that.It’s heavier than the whiskey.It should be.
“There’s already an unconscious guy in the barn,” he says.“Let’s not add names to the list.”
“You think I’m not aware?”
“I think you’re past caring.”He tips his head.“That’s not you.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”He looks at me hard.“I am.”
I look away.The bar mirror throws back a distorted version of me.The man in the glass looks like a stranger who borrowed my face to do things Hawk Bellamy would never do.
“You’re not yourself,” he says again.“And don’t tell me this whole thing isn’t frightening to you.”
Why lie?I swallow down a lump of emotion.“I’m fucking terrified.Of losing Daniela.Of losing myself.”
Falcon nods.“There it is.”
We let that sit.It doesn’t get easier, but it gets truer.
“What does she want?”he asks.
“For me to stay out of danger.Hire a PI.Do things the right way.”
He punches my shoulder.“That sounds like the Hawk I know.”
“I’ve gone too far the other way.”I rub at my forehead.“I keep seeing pieces on the floor and the broom’s in my hand before I know I picked it up.”
He shrugs.“Then pick a different tool.”
I roll my eyes.“You got one in mind?”
“Yeah.”He counts on his fingers.“Listen to Daniela.Get a PI.A lawyer.Please.”
“Please?”
“Yeah, please.”He finishes his second drink.“Have you forgotten who you’re talking to?I’ve done time.I know what it’s like in there.I did it to save Eagle, and I’d do it save you too, Hawk.But you’re scaring me.I’m not sure I can save you now.”
I almost smile.“Did you rehearse that?”
He tries to hold back a smile, but he can’t.“Fuck you.”
“Tell me straight,” I say.“You think I’m wrong.”
