Page 133 of Chaotic Curse
“Then I came by.”
“I know.I’m sorry.”
He looks past me for a second, at something I can’t see.“I don’t want Mom to see me like this.”His mouth tightens.“I didn’t want you to, either.”
“You don’t get to protect me,” I say.“That’s my job.”
He huffs something that could be a laugh, and the monitor bumps again.I ease back.
He shifts a little.The movement pulls at his IV, and he flinches.I hate everything in the room at once—tubes, tape, the stupid beige blanket that doesn’t cover enough.
“Tell me more,” I say.“Everything.”
“Dark.”He stares at the ceiling.“Smelled like oil.Rubber.Someone wore…aftershave.Cheap shit, like Aqua Velva or something.”A breath.“They were quiet.No talking.Just…work.”He swallows.“Needle.Then…like drowning.”
The anger comes hot and clean.Not the kind that makes you sloppy.The kind that makes you precise.My vision gets very focused.The edges go away.It’s just me and my brother and the fact that someone put poison in him.And why?What the hell motive could there possibly be after all this time?With Diego Vega dead and?—
Except the body… It’s gone.
Eagle looks at me, and for the first time in a while, I see the little brother he was before the drugs.“I’m sorry, Hawk.I fucked up.I needed to talk to you, and I thought about drugs.I did.But I swear to God I didn’t take any.Not voluntarily.”
“I know.”I lean in.“Listen to me.This is not on you.Not one inch.You didn’t choose this.”
He nods, and that says everything.
I believe him.Not because he’s my brother, and not because I trust him.He used up his trust with me long ago.
But because I see truth in his eyes.
“I’m here now,” I say.It feels inadequate, but it’s all I have.
We sit in silence for a moment.
“You’re going to be okay,” I tell him.“The docs say so.Falcon says so.Mom will say so until it’s true.”
At the mention of Mom, his eyes sadden.“She knows?”
“Not yet.”I swallow.“Falcon’s telling her after we’re done.”
He nods.Relief and dread twist together in his expression.“I don’t want her to see me like this,” he says again.“She’ll cry.”
“Yeah.”I exhale.“She will.”I don’t bother telling him she’s been crying nonstop since we found out about his OD.
He licks his lips.“It wasn’t me this time.I know I’ve relapsed a million times, and you always took care of me.Kept it from the family.”
And I always resented it.But no longer.“I did what I could.”
“Are you mad?”he asks.
“No.”I don’t let myself think about all the reasons I could be.“I’m mad atthem.”
“Them.”His eyes go darker.“You think it was…”
“I think someone wanted to send us a message,” I say.“I just wish I knew who.It’s a wild goose chase so far.”
He swallows.“I know you won’t do anything stupid.You’re the one we can count on to keep a level head and do…what’s right.”
His words hit like a punch to my fucking balls.
