Page 45 of Property of Baffle
“She was going to plan a vow renewal?”Dad asked and then buried his head in his hands as he started to sob.“I can’t hate the fact that I have a daughter,” he managed to choke out.“But I’m fucking so damn sorry that you didn’t have Stace as your mother, too, Angel.”
“I don’t know what to say to that.”My sister admitted.Then she stood up and turned toward the door before she glanced back one more time.“I’m sorry, I can’t stay here any longer.I’m glad I got to meet you but I don’t know if I’ll be back.”Angel walked away and I sat there for a few more minutes staring at the space my sister vacated.
“She’s right to leave and never look back,” Dad said.“There’s no repenting for my sins or forgiveness, either.I never even knew that I pulled the trigger that day.I was so fucking out of my mind that I didn’t even realize I’d ended everything and spent the last minutes of my time with my wife puking and passing out instead of helping her.”
“I will never get that image out of my head,” I growled at him.“I was thirteen and fucking happy because my parents were going to be spending more time together again.My dad was going to be home more, that’s what she kept telling me.I think,” I hesitated to tell him this part.“I didn’t realize what she was saying back then because I was a stupid kid, but looking back at my memories through an adult’s eyes, I think she knew that you were seeing someone else.Hell, she might have welcomed Angel with open arms if you’d just fessed up to what you’d done.Instead, you killed my mom and stole the prospect of a decent life away from your daughter.You didn’t even have the decency to tell the club about her, so they could look after her.All this time, you just left her swinging in the wind with the shittiest mom a girl could have.I think that’s worse than walking in to find your mother dead in a puddle of blood and brain matter on the kitchen floor and your father passed out in a pile of vomit holding the gun that killed her.At least I had the club to pick me up when you fucked everything up.”
I stood and followed my sister out of the prison.There was a part of me that begged me to turn around and go tell him that I still loved him, never stopped, and probably never would.But every time I flinched in that direction, I saw it all over again as clear as the day it happened.Their bodies lying on the kitchen floor.My dad coming to and me screaming at him.The cops.I couldn’t go back there and face him again.Not yet.I needed to let everything simmer.
When we finally got out to the car, Angel turned to me with red-rimmed eyes and hiccuped out a sob.“Are we going back home today?”
“Yeah, I can’t stay here.”I couldn’t.I might be tempted to try to visit again if I stuck around.
“I’m so sorry, Patrick.”
“Nah, little sis, like I just told Dad, if he had explained things to my mom, she would have taken you in.I know it in my heart.You have nothing to apologize for.We were both just casualties in their stupid fucking drama.It was all so pointless.”
“You need to remember their story,” she whispered.“Don’t let Nell fade away.”
“I don’t plan on it.I’m going after her.Not today, but after I drink myself into a coma to try to forget everything I heard in there.This is my one day to fucking deal the wrong way, then I’m going to go get my wife back.”
“Good.I think I’m also going to drink the night away.One night to forget, right?”
“That’s the plan.,” I agreed.
24Hoes Keep Digging
Nell
It took morethan an hour after Tilly and Sammy helped me close up the shop to finally finish getting ready.They had to drive me over to the cabin, wait around for me to get cleaned up and dressed, which took forever since I was one leg down and still sore all over.Then they had to help me back into Tilly’s truck which was a lovely fucking experience since it was so high off the ground.
“Sorry, I should have thought this through and brought a different vehicle.”
“We could have taken the UTV,” I complained while buckling my seat belt.
“Oh, I didn’t think of that.”I glanced at Tilly and then back to Sammy who was trying to contain her giggles in the backseat.
“Let’s just get there.I’m sure Rick is lost in his head over whatever shit went down with his dad.Jesus, that had to be a complete mind fuck.Why did he go there?”
“He went with Angel.I think they had some questions about the fact that Baffle had a sister no one knew about all these years and she didn’t remember ever meeting her dad.I think they both needed some closure after finding one another,” Sammy said.
“Yeah, I was kind of hoping they could be each other’s closure, though,” I admitted.
“You knew this was coming?”Tilly asked.
“I thought it might be possible since the man was still alive and in a prison in the state.”
“Well, I’m sure no matter what, Baffle will be happy to see you.He’s missed you like crazy.That man loves you something fierce.”
“You do realize we are strangers who married in Vegas only a few weeks ago, right?”
“So what?You love him, too, and don’t try to deny it,” Tilly argued.
“That may be true, but he’s never said it to me.”
“Have you ever said it to him?”The woman was like a masterclass in how to make you feel like a whole child instead of an adult.“I didn’t think so,” she tacked on when I didn’t answer.“Now, maybe at least one of you will wise up and remedy that situation.Life is short, as you know, and we don’t know how many more chances we will get to let the people we love know exactly how we feel about them.”Tilly’s lecture on love ended the minute we pulled up out front of the clubhouse.
“It feels like another lifetime ago when I was here last.”
