Page 20 of Safe Word
“I wish we had longer.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant, but at the same time, I was absolutely sure. I felt the same way. I wanted to tell her that only we determined how long we had, but part of me knew that wasn’t exactly true.
“Time ain’t the only thing we have to consider,” I finally replied.
“You’re the only thing I want to consider.”
I should have told her that I felt the same. Instead, I used the most powerful tool that my mom and Deacon Grace had ever given us. I used what religion I could muster, and I prayed. I held her body against me and prayed to everything holy that I could end the rest of my days this way.
As the silence between us told the story we didn’t want to think about, I held her as close as I could. Before long, she settled into the comfort of sleep, snoring softly in the darkness. Still, she shifted her weight, draping her leg over me territorially, and pulled me even closer.
There were some things that you knew would be core memories even as they were happening. The moment I knewwithout a doubt that I was in love with Carteay was one of those things.
I’d learned every nook and cranny and back street all over the city. I knew every exit that would take someone out of the city in the quickest and safest manner. As Carteay slept peacefully on my chest, I had no idea how I could safely exit the situation with my heart and mind intact. The craziest thing was, I didn’t even want an out.
Chapter
Five
Carteay
Normal had never feltas good as it did when Kannon and I walked two blocks in his little neighborhood to a coffee shop. His gigantic hoodie swallowed me whole, but it worked as a perfect disguise.
My hand fit into his big palm as if it belonged there. I followed without question as we cruised down an alley behind a barbershop and a Chinese restaurant. As we passed a park where a dad was teaching his son to shoot free throws, I realized that, so far, not one person had looked my way.
Even as we turned down yet another alley, I had no problem following Kannon’s lead. He was one of the only people I could fully trust. It was refreshing to not have a care in the world. I eyed the outdoor seating with envy as we neared our destination. The chalkboard menu boasted the day’s specials, all fall inspired due to the changing of seasons. I didn’t care for fall spices.
Before we made it to the door, I let Kannon know to get me any tea that wasn’t pumpkin spice inspired, before continuing to pass the counter to find a seat. I wanted to keep the momentumof a rare undisturbed outing going. So instead of lingering near the counter and risking being recognized, I got comfortable in one of the seats near the back of the room.
I listened as Kannon ordered blackberry and honey green teas for both of us. I wasn’t in the mood for coffee, but the fall weather made me want something warm. As I sat and waited, the smell of brown sugar and espresso made my senses tingle.
I loved the aromas and the cozy feel of a nice, quaint coffee shop. For that reason, I was tempted to stay inside, but the breeze and weather were perfect for sitting outside. Plus, it was something that I rarely got to do these days.
So far, there had been no camera flashes or swarms of people waiting to take a picture or get an autograph. For a minute, I just got to be me. Kannon smiled when he turned to me with both our cups and a small paper bag in his hand. His warm smile sent the small flurry of butterflies resting at the pit of my stomach into a gentle flutter. I stood as he made his way to me. Opening a side door, I stood aside to let him pass since his hands were full.
“You good with sitting outside?” he questioned as I held the door.
The way he studied my face as he waited for an answer made me feel safe. Kannon had a way of protecting even when he wasn’t trying. His presence alone made me feel safer than anything in the world. I nodded and smiled, and apparently, that was a good enough response since he walked out and started to scan tables.
“Here,” I said, pointing to the table furthest from the door.
I made it to the table first and plopped down in a chair. I watched as Kannon put the cups on the table and moved the other chair so that his back was against the building. I remember him telling me he never put his back to the door or to the crowd for long so he could keep watch. It had to be exhausting to have to be so vigilant all the time.
Thankfully, I’d had the luxury of having people to watch my back over the past few years. Then again, they weren’t watching my back. They were watching the company’s investment. Once Kannon was situated, he picked up one of the cups and took a sip. I followed suit and was pleased with the bold flavors of the tea.
“I expected something more muted. This is good.”
“Yeah, I’ve tried a few of their teas. They’re pretty good. This one is my favorite.”
I nodded. “I like it.”
“I got you something,” he said, motioning toward the white paper bag.
I didn’t try to hide my smile as I picked up the bag and tore into it. The sugary scent hit me before I pulled out the pecan and caramel cinnamon roll.
“Oh my goodness, this looks so good. You should’ve gotten something to cut it with.”
“You don’t have to cut it, C. Just tear into it.”
