Page 26 of Safe Word
Chapter
Six
Kannon
Six days felt like a lifetime.Still, it was nowhere near enough. When I opened my eyes, Carrie was already up. I spotted her curled up in the recliner in my room, with her feet tucked under her. She looked angelic with the sunrays beaming on her face. I watched as she chewed on the end of a pen before scribbling something in that notebook that seemed to be glued to her hand. She sang a few lines then corrected it before singing the verse all the way through.
“Keep going,” I requested, almost making her jump out of her skin.
“I didn’t know you were awake.”
“Keep singing.”
She flashed one of those smiles that felt like medicine, then sang the song again. Nothing else existed in the moment. It wasn’t fancy or overdone. It was just right. My chest felt weird. I sat up as she finished.
“It needs a bridge.”
“It’ll come to you. How long have you been working on it?”
“It was in my head all night. I had to get up and get it out.”
“Sing it again,” I asked, just because I wanted to hear it.
When she did, she looked at me as if I might have an idea of how to proceed. “On ‘Just for Your Love,’ you repeated part of the first verse for the hook. I think that would work for this one. Where you say I want to stay anchored in you. Use that.”
“I’ll play with it.”
“It’s good so far.”
The day went on, and I enjoyed soaking up every moment I could with Carrie. When night fell, I put on one of the songs she’d sent me when we first met that never made the album but was double platinum in my house. I loved the honesty in her voice. When she recognized it, her eyes went wild.
“Turn that off.” She fussed like playing the song might make the monsters come out.
“No,” I said, walking toward her with my hand extended. “Dance with me.”
Her coy smile was cute. “You don’t dance.”
“I’m waiting,” I told her, never dropping my hand.
She stood from her place on the couch, rolling her eyes to hide the way they sparkled. Once her hand was in mine, I pulled her to me and put my hand on her waist. As we swayed to the music, she put her head on my chest. I felt the vibration as she hummed the song under her breath. She was right. I wasn’t a dancer. Still, I wanted this moment with her.
“C,” I said with my face buried in her hair.
“Hm?”
The words in my head died on my lips. I wanted to tell Carteay that spending the past few days with her had fucked up my sense of time and space. I needed her to know that an hour with her felt like a whole day, and a month away from her would feel more like a year.
I wanted to let her know that the idea of another nigga touching her without showing her complete reverence made me homicidal. I wanted to tell her that I would build a whole new world for her if it meant she would be safe there. I couldn’t say any of that shit though. Not yet anyway. I let the song say the things I couldn’t. Instead, I kept quiet and buried my nose in her hair, trying to memorize that peach shampoo.
She shifted her weight to look up at me. I looked down, still trying to find the right words to say to her.
“Don’t look at me like that, Kannon,” she whispered.
“Like what?”
“Like you already know how this is going to end.”
“I don’t. That’s the scary part. I just know I don’t want it to.” That was probably the truest thing I could say.
