Page 111 of The Wicked
I slipped the gun back underneath my pillow and turned to my side, closing my eyes, trying to find sleep.
It didn’t come. I tossed and turned, looking for a comfortable position, but nothing changed.
Groaning, I sat upright.
I could use a pill.
I got out of bed and out of the room. Milk and Dog were still awake, seeing as I could hear their voices from the living room.
I went down a small corridor opposite Devil and Upper’s room, stopping before the fire extinguisher. I opened the case where it was mounted, reaching behind it quietly and grabbing a stash of pills.
“What the bloody hell, Devil. How does that even sound to you?”
I paused at the sound of Upper’s agitated voice. Quietly, I closed the glass to the extinguisher and walked towards their bedroom door, leaning to press my ear against it.
“It sounds perfect. I like her, and we’ve been doing this for almost a year now, and I want it all with her; I know she does too.I’m going to ask her.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself.
“Okay, fine, I’m not against it, nor will I ask you not to ask her. But I care about Zahra too, and I won’t let you half-ass it with her. You must tell her about us. She deserves to know your reservations before you string her along.”
My brows jumped.
Us?
“For God’s sake, Upper, there’s no us. There never was. I’m fucking straight.”
Upper scoffed. “I’m not about to help you define your sexuality, but I can assure you that a straight guy wouldn’t exactly give a gay guy a bloody hand job or receive a bloody blow job from a gay guy and then kiss him afterward, just saying.”
What the fuck?
“It just happened, Upper. It didn’t mean shit to me. You don’t mean shit to me; Zahra does. And you—don’t give me that fucking look; you came on to me.”
“I came on to you?” His voice shook. “That’s the worst fucking thing you could ever say to me. Listen, it was mutual; you had every right to forfeit the dare and not give me a hand job. If anything, you started it. But you don’t see me saying that or accusing you of coming on to me.”
Devil sighed. “Upper, I didn’t mean it like that—”
“No, you’re confused and so fucking toxic and problematic, and you rub it off on everyone who dares to even come close to you. I didn’t ask for this shit. I didn’t ask you to tell me shit you’ve never told anyone and make me feel like we were something special when it obviously meant shit to you, just like you said.” He sounded so hurt, and I wasn’t sure if my heart was aching from the not-so-betrayal or for Upper.
“Upper—”
“And now you’re about to use Zahra to, what? Fuel your denial? She doesn’t deserve that shit.”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do. I genuinely care about Zahra; I think I’m falling in love with her—”
“You think. You’re not sure. You’re leading her on, on a maybe…”
Deciding I’d heard enough, I twisted the knob and pushed open the door, startling both of them.
The look on my face probably spelled the fact that I’d overheard their conversation due to the horror on Upper’s face and the curse Devil muttered.
I couldn’t help but feel a sting at the sight of him.
He was my best friend and the first guy I’d been with more than once after leaving Sicily. Devil and I downplayed what we had almost every time, trying to stay within our limits, but there was something there, which was why I felt a little hurt and betrayed by this new reveal.
“So that’s why you both have been acting weird around each other?”
Upper plopped down on the bed, resting his elbows on his knees as he covered his face with his palms, almost as if he couldn’t believe this was happening.
“Is anyone gonna answer me?” My voice went a pitch louder, and Upper flinched.
