Page 10 of The Wicked
At times like this I didn’t know what to do. Yes, we used to be close, but why couldn’t he understand that things change? These days, there’s no such thing as brothers, friends, or even family when it comes to the business. Why couldn’t he understand that I would kill him if necessary? Friends do not think that about their friends, do they?
I am confused.
I watched him swallow the last of his drink, shaking his head and dropping the glass on the table as he began to walk away.
“Cas,” I called, but he ignored me. He reached the couch where he had dumped his jacket and slipped it on before attempting to walk out. “Stop,” I called out again, leaving my glass on the counter as I approached him. “Sit.”
He looked at me and then at the couch. “I have shit to do.”
“Sit down, Casmiro.”
He hesitated but succumbed with a grunt.
Sitting down next to him on the couch, I watched a hard line form on his face. “You are like a child sometimes.”
“I have every right to feel offended.”
“Really?”
He threw a stern frown at me.
I nodded. “Useless emotions, Casmiro. This kind of heart you have isn’t what this business needs.”
“Did you ask me to sit so you could insult me?”
“No.” I took in a sharp breath. “Listen. You cannot throw tantrums like this because we don’t drink whiskey together and do things friends do. You said I treat you like a soldier. But I do notthink any soldier would have the guts to walk in here and pour himself a drink. I do not think I would sit down with a soldier and talk to him like I am talking to you now. You assume I do not care because that is what you see.”
“It’s what you show.”
“Yes. Because a time will come when I will have to choose between you and something I want badly, and I will choose that without blinking. It is not that I don’t trust you. I don’t trust myself. I cannot be a friend to you, Casmiro. I will mess it up, and you will hate me.” This time, all I saw on his face was confusion.
“How can you be so certain you will mess it up?”
“Because I am sick. I am unpredictable, even to myself. I do not know consequences until they hit me in the face. This is me being very honest with you because I can tell my behavior is upsetting you.”
“I hate your honesty sometimes.”
“I tell you what you want to hear, and I know you wanted the truth.”
He nodded and was silent for a few seconds before he broke it. “I still want you to let me in—”
“Casmiro—”
“Try. Let’s take power together. Teach me. You can do it alone, but you don’t have to. Not when I’m here.”
I worked my jaw, refusing to give myself unnecessary time to think it through.
“Okay,” I said. “You want to get inside my head. You want me to tell you things and trust you. You want to make a brother of me. Fine.”
“Why do you make it sound so scary?”
“It is the accent.”
There was a slight pause before Casmiro blinked. “I think you just made a joke—but your face isn’t—it’s not—”
“I know. I am funny.”
“It’s hard to tell if you’re telling a joke or—just beingyou.”
