Page 38 of And Still Her Voice
Not a bread-making morning, we lazed in the bedroom. The sun streamed in, illuminating Mother Mary sitting lotus-style on top of her bed, meditating, eyes closed. I tiptoed in reverently, but tripped over one of the pillows scattered across the floor, and the towel fell off my head.
“Sorry.” I stepped over to the nightstand and touched her stack of books.
“Are these all yours?” I picked one up.
She nodded as Indigo came in from her shower, wet black hair cascading to her hips. She noticed theBook on DreamsI held.
“Outta sight,” Indigo said. “Can you interpret my dream for me?” Her towel tumbled to the floor and her breasts, large as cantaloupes, jiggled as she flapped her arms. “I was a bird, this time flying over the Bay.”
I turned away. I don’t believe I’d ever seen another completely naked person in my life. In my house, we were all very modest, screaming loud enough to scare ghosts out of the room if we were caught in our underwear.
“I don’t need Freud to interpret this,” Mary said. “You’re either feeling free or you want to escape.”
“Well, since I’ve already escaped, I must be feeling free,” Indigo said, wiggling into her jeans.
“Wow, so dreams have meaning?” I asked.
“Of course, they do and there are plenty of typical dreams,” Mary said. “For instance, I’m sure you’ve dreamt about flying or being chased, or being naked in public.”
River appeared at the doorway. “Those are dreams?” He strode into the room and plopped onto a pile of blankets.
“They sound like nightmares to me,” I said, combing fingers through my tangled wet hair.
“Sounds more like my reality.” River laughed, and then, gently cradling his still swollen face, he said, “Tell us about your French dream, the one with Guillome.”
I glared at him as Grandma said, “Not funny!” He put a hand over his mouth just as his eyes darted toward the doorway. I turned to see Tony standing there, leaning on the doorframe. “Hey man. What’s this a big slumber party?”
“Mother Mary’s interpreting our dreams,” Indigo said.
“Way out. I always dream that my teeth are falling out,” Tony said, crossing his arms.
I laughed nervously, remembering I’d had the same dreams.
“That just means you’ve lost personal power, the ability to be assertive and protect yourself,” Mary said. “On the other hand, it can also indicate a desire to flee or escape from the realities of life.”
How could I have anything personal, much less power, with Grandma plaguing my mind? And, weren’t we all escaping something? I wanted to escape Grandma before I became her. I’d fled home for good reason and I sure didn’t want to think about what had happened to Dilbert. I wanted to hope it would all go away. I knew his mother was dead, but I didn’t want to know if he had any other family that would miss him. Thankfully, so far, I hadn’t had any nightmares about him, but I did have some crazy dreams, lately.
“Can you interpret this one? I had it last night,” I said, testing the waters, and soon all eyes were on me. “I was in this swimmingpool filled with sparkling turquoise water. I was splashing around and then some sharks started chasing me. I was so scared and then one circled me and opened up his jaw to swallow me and I woke up in a cold sweat.”
Mary laughed. “Cool, two symbols in one dream. First, let’s start with the swimming pool, which in general means passionate love. There’s someone you wish to start a relationship with.”
I looked at Tony, close-set eyes, pock-faced, and short. Not my type—not that I had a type. I looked at River—not his type. And the scary feelings I had for Everett confused me. The sensations swung from one side of the metronome to the other—good or bad, it was too powerful to tell.
“A shark may represent a person in your life who is draining you emotionally. But more than one symbol, that’s something to pay close attention to.”
Bingo! And duh! Grandma was the deadly fish here and definitely a drain on me.
“Instead of being frozen in fear, you must confront it in order to move past it. Everyone carries a shadow.” Yup, she’s definitely talking about Phoebe. “There’s a part of you that you’re not acknowledging.”
I don’t want to acknowledge her. I don’t even want her around.
“A swimming pool represents danger which leads to this shark you dreamed about. I know you’re eighteen and can make your own life choices, but I’d say just be careful around Everett,” Mary said.
Everett? I had been thinking about him day and literally night.
“Shark dreams are associated with negativity and conscious or unconscious threats.”
Dilbert is a dead shark fish chum and the threat of him has no teeth, speaking of teeth, I thought, as I heard a knock on the door downstairs. We all turned our heads.
