Page 17 of The Season for Loving
“Yes?”
“It sounds like it’s not just that Lady Reese wants you to marry a Sassenach. It sounds like you don’t want to get married at all.”
It was more observation than question, and the truth of it had him mentally flinching. He cursed himself for straying down that path with her. It was a path he didn’t dare travel with anyone.
“I can’t get married.” He shook his head. “I mean, yes. I don’t want to get married.” He clamped his lips shut, well aware that he was making a hash of it.
Georgie came to a halt, forcing him to stop as well. They stood at the bottom of the room in the shelter of a large pillar that gave them a degree of privacy.
“Which is it? You can’t or you don’t want to?”
“I’m too busy to get married.”
She sighed. “Try again.”
Fergus started to feel a bit desperate. “Miss Gage, this is an exceedingly inappropriate conversation.”
“And has been for several minutes, I’m afraid.” She batted her eyelashes at him. “Being an invalid has made me socially inept, remember?”
“That’s a load of blather and you know it.”
“Perhaps. But I think you and I are rather alike, are we not? We’re not outsiders, but neither do we truly fit in—even within our own families. We’re confined to the edge of things. In my case, it’s because I was ill for such a long time. I don’t think that’s so with you. Something else put you in that in-between place.”
He couldn’t do anything but stare into a face that seemed much too pretty and young to hold such a thoughtful, knowing expression. And, good Lord, it was like she’d seen into his mind and his heart.
Finally, he managed to nod.
“Is that what makes you think you cannot marry?” she asked after a pause.
Fergus thought about brushing off her question with a jest or, better yet, ignoring it completely. If he had any brains in his thick skull, he would return her to their party forthwith and never speak of the subject again. But, for some bloody reason, he felt compelled to tell her the truth. At least part of it.
“I hurt my family,” he said. “Very badly. And I almost ruined my sister’s life. In fact, I almost ruined several lives.” By being a stubborn fool who’d refused to see what had been right in front of his eyes.
Georgie’s eyes went wide for an instant, but that was the only indication that she was either shocked or surprised. “That’s a sweeping assessment, and a rather vague one.”
He grimaced. “A tad dramatic as well, I suppose.”
“Lady Reese did mention that the Scots are prone to dramatic pronouncements.”
Fergus gave her a reluctant smile. “She would seem to have the right of it, if my behavior is any indication.”
“I don’t suppose you’d care to elaborate, would you?”
What would be the point? It would only embarrass them both, and make him an object of pity in her eyes. They only had a few more weeks, and then he would likely never see her again. Fergus didn’t want to ruin their precious time together with ugly stories from his past.
“I’m afraid I can’t, other than to say that I feel my decision not to marry is in the best interest of my family,” he said.
She accepted that with a nod, then took his arm and resumed their stroll. Mrs. Clotworthy peered in their direction and waved, indicating their party was ready to leave.
“But you still have a problem with Lady Reese,” Georgie said. “She’ll pester you no end.”
“I’ll just have to ignore her as best I can.”
She flashed him an inscrutable look. “I think we can do better than that.”
“How?”
“You could pretend to court me.” She said it as calmly as if she’d saidwe’re having lamb and mint peas for dinner.
