Page 89 of Liar Witch
My slow litany of self-reassurance doesn’t help. By the time the sun sets, I’m ready to turn Klaus down.
“You won’t drown tonight,” Nos says, startling me out of my funk. “You might not swim either, but it doesn’t matter.”
The Seer leans against the doorway to the galley, looking serene enough that I do actually calm down, just a little bit.
“I’m going to try.”
He nods. “But you’ll just put your feet in the water, and that’s fine. That’s more than anyone expects of you. We all have our own fears. Forcing you to face yours is slightly hypocritical of us.”
“What could you possibly be afraid of?” I snap, before shutting my mouth. I dip my eyes as my own words catch up with me. “Sorry, that was a stupid thing to say.”
Of course Nos has things he fears. He might be a powerful shifter—and a leviathan at that—but he’s part human too. Not to mention, as a Seer, the tiny glimpses he gets of the future probably scare him more than not knowing what’s coming would. How many futures has he seen where someone he loves dies? Do I even want to know?
He doesn’t shy away from my outburst, though. He moves farther into my workroom, pulling the door shut behind him as he goes. He keeps walking until his leg brushes the side of my table, then stops, his eyes settling on a spot a little to the left of me.
“I’m afraid,” he murmurs. “I am afraid you’ll leave us, or our bargain will compel us to hurt you. I’m petrified of something happening to anyone on this ship. It’s the one thing my visions rarely show me, so I don’t know how to prevent it. Worse, I’m scared of shifting.”
Those last four words are a whispered bombshell between us, but he doesn’t stop there.
“I’ve buried my beast so deep, I’m barely a shifter. A blind leviathan is a danger and a weakness,” he spits the last words. “If I shift, I’ll probably end up endangering everyone on board, and that terrifies me.”
“No one on this boat believes that,” I console him, moving closer and stroking a lock of his hair out of his face. “So who put those words in your head?”
Nos shakes me off. “It doesn’t matter. The point is, we’re all afraid of something. You don’t have to face the ocean if you don’t want to.”
The more he speaks, the more I want him to stop talking. He might think he’s being supportive, but what he’s saying isn’t about me. Not really.
“No,” I whisper, “What you mean is, if I don’t, you’ll feel better about not shifting.”
He jerks as if I’ve slapped him. “No, that—”
Grabbing his hand, I cut him off. “I’m not going to be your excuse. My phobia is a weakness, just like your fear of shifting is. We have them because of our pasts, but they’re not there to dictate our future. We’re stronger than that.” I take a deep breath, moving until we’re chest to chest. “As your mate, I’m not going to let your fear limit you, and I expect you to do the same for me.”
He swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing as I pull his face down to mine.
My lips meet his softly, carefully, then retreat just as fast.
“I’m going to do this,” I insist, shoving the fear down with pure determination just as the door swings open again.
“Are you ready?” Cas asks, destroying the moment with all the subtlety of cannon fire.
“Yes.” I step around his twin and take Cas’s offered hand. As I reach the door, I glance back at Nos, still frozen in place from my kiss. “Yes. I’m ready.”
If Cas finds my actions odd, he doesn’t comment. Instead, he pulls me out of the door with a barely contained eagerness. The shifter is practically vibrating, and I manage a grin despite the way my stomach is tying itself in knots inside me.
“You need to calm down,” Klaus scolds as soon as we make it out on deck. “You’ll put her off.”
“Iamcalm,” Cas retorts, letting go of my hands to rip his shorts down in a move that is anything but. “It’s the other half of me who’s excited.” He smiles back at me. “We’ll keep you safe, princess. I promise, we’ll be the best behaved living paddling platform you’ve ever seen.”
With those hopeful words of encouragement, he leaps from the deck and into the moonlit water below. Seconds later, his leviathan’s head bursts up from the inky depths beneath us, sending droplets everywhere as he butts his huge head against me in greeting.
“Hey there.” I rub across the side of his snout, reaching as high as I can while he purrs in pleasure.
“Are you ready?” Klaus asks, coming up behind me.
Cas leans back, the huge coils of his body churning the water as he raises a portion of his wide back up to the edge of the deck.
Blood rushes in my ears as I stare at the teal scales there.
