Her scent is close. Pungent with the sweetness of fear. I drop to my knees, still trying to catch my breath, and reach out, searching until I come into contact with an arm.
I drag her body to me, and she lets me. Soaked to the bone and shivering, my mate curls up against my chest.
The others converge on us at once, a flurry of voices and hands, checking her over.
“Give them some fucking room,” Val mutters at last.
They let up, but only somewhat. I can still feel them hovering.
“Are you all right?” I whisper. “Where’s Cas?”
“He swam off,” Rysen growls. “Stupid idiot, pulling a stunt like that.”
“His beast has been riding him hard,” I object. “It wants to swim with its mate.”And its twin.“He couldn’t have predicted it would act out so badly when it went so well last time.” I don’t add the twin part. It’s bad enough that my scales are still coating my arms, my beast not fully banished to the back of my mind just yet. His concern for our mate overrides my ability to keep him fully contained.
When Nilsa traces them, I have to suppress a shudder.
“When will he come back?” she asks
“Not for a while.” I grimace, pushing to a stand with her still in my arms. “Come on, let’s get you dried off.”
Cas’s wounded pride will leave him stewing in regret for a while before he comes back to grovel for our mate’s forgiveness.
The others give me my space, recognising that I want to be alone with her right now. The hatch thuds loudly as it springs open, letting me know exactly where it is in relation to us and I thank Val silently for the help as I follow the noise.
I don’t take Nilsa to her cabin. My beast won’t allow it and I don’t have the energy to fight him when I want her in our space as much as he does.
“You can put me down,” Nilsa objects, snuggling further into me as we reach the door.
I smirk at the contradiction she presents and ignore her, heading straight for the bathroom I share with Cas. I settle her on the edge of the tub and feel for the biggest towel I can find. She lets me wrap her up in it, though I’m not sure how well I manage, considering the rustling that continues long after I step back and lean against the counter.
“Nos, your scales,” she murmurs.
I grimace. “They’ll go away in a minute. I just have to calm down.”
There’s a pause, the slightest shifting of the air before she gently strokes along the edge of one again. She’s using me as a distraction from dealing with what happened, but I’m not going to object. If she wants to hide from that stuff, I can’t judge her for it.
“I was going to say they’re lighter than Cas’s.”
Oh. I shrug. “We were identical once. It happened when Fate touched me.” Like the Goddess wanted to bleach my soul rather than just my eyes.
“Why didn’t you…”
I can guess where she’s going with this. “Why didn’t I shift? I told you before, it’s a bad idea, precious. I won’t put the crew in danger like that, even if Cas’s beast wishes I would.” The creature inside me is angry, violent and uncontrolled. Nothing like Cas’s impulsive but otherwise-friendly leviathan.
“Surely not shifting hurts you?”
I try to shrug it off. “I’m used to it.”
I can practically smell her indecision. “Why are you… the way you are?”
“That’s a deep question,” I tease, pretending ignorance in the hope that she’ll drop it.
Stubborn thing that she is, she doesn’t. “Why do you and Cas struggle with your beasts so much? Is it a leviathan thing?”
Because of me, I think, bitterly.
I can’t admit that to her. Even if the bargain didn’t stop me from telling her everything, I don’t have the strength to. So I shake my head, instead, mute.