Page 73 of Amidst the Insidious Courts
“It’s not. And I wasn’t asking your permission.” My eyes burn with humiliation. “The entire way here, I’ve stayed in a little bubble, useless, while you all risk your lives—”
“That’s ourjob, Rosie,” Jaro mumbles, and a shield flickers over me for half a second before he can reel his magic back. “We were born to protect you. If I could and it was necessary, I’d die doing it.”
“I’m not asking to become a soldier,” I protest, glancing at Prae, who lingers on the fringes of the discussion, not saying anything. “I just don’t want to feel useless. I want to learn to use my magic too, but learning to use a sword seems like a good backup in case I can’t reach Danu again like last time when I panicked. What if your magic fails when I’m in danger? What if Elatha—?”
“He. Will. Not. Touch. You.” Drystan strides closer to me until I can pick out specks of bronze flickering in his irises. His hand cups my cheek, tilting my head back to meet the amber eyes burning into mine as the scent of smoke fills my lungs. “Youareuseful. You’re the key to gathering the armies, which will allow the trained soldiers to fight the enemy. Once that’s done, you can move back into Elfhame and rule as you were meant to. Maybe take up knitting or something, I don’t know.”
“Knitting?” I blink, pulling my face from his grasp. “You think I want to start knitting?”
Drystan rolls his eyes. “It’s just an example. You’ve never suggested what you might want to do with your time when you’re not busy attending to your duties.”
“I am now. I want to learn to defend myself. Maeve’s been teaching me to dodge attacks for years. I think it’s a good idea to learn more while we have the time.”
Lore blinks beside me, landing inside Mab, who grimaces with distaste before floating away to pace the other side of the room.
“You can still stab people with knitting needles,” he informs me, yawning. “But it takes a lot more force. Better to start with archery or something. Your grandmother can help you turn your enemies into pincushions from a distance. Or a spear! Letting your enemies skewer themselves is always satisfying.”
At least that’s one vote in my favour.
“Don’t encourage this,” Drystan growls, turning away from me. “It’s bad enough the spirits put this idea in her head. You’ve all watched her charge headfirst into danger. She’s not going to be content with defending herself.”
“She can be our sexy little battle goddess.” Lore’s pupils are blown wide with arousal, and he licks his lips. “Come on, you mean to tell me youdon’thave fantasies of her wearing nothing but the blood of her enemies as she rides your cock?”
“Lord Huntsman,” Kitarni interrupts, shooting the redcap an exasperated look until he blinks away. “I think it would be wise to accept that Danu did not give her chosen daughter two incredibly powerful gifts to watch from the sidelines as people win her battles for her.”
I could hug her. As it is, my eyes are welling with moisture.
Drystan gives Jaro a look, then strides away. “Fine. But I want no part of it. When she bleeds out on the battlefield in our arms, you’ll learn I was right.”
He shoves through the double doors and into the night without another word, and I cringe.
There was anger in his words, but beneath that hid a deeper undercurrent of tremulous fear. I wouldn’t have noticed it if I wasn’t so attuned to him, but the realisation that Drystan is scared for me melts a little of my anger.
I’m still not happy, but I get the feeling that the unseelie lord isn’t used to caring for the welfare of others, and this latest development has rocked him. In typical Drystan style, he’s chosen to retreat behind a wall of blunt, unfeeling ice, rather than face the issue directly.
“Rosie,” Jaro begins.
“Don’t.” I shove up from the mattress, only to stop when he grabs my wrist. “I get it, okay? The answer is no.”
“I’m not saying defending yourself is a bad idea.” I meet his warm eyes, dying a little inside when I read the grave expression on his face. “But I worry, like Drystan does, that you’re going to take this further. Have you really thought this through? If we train you to fight, that means we’re training you to kill. Can you handle that? Can you look into someone’s eyes and take their life? Because I’m willing to bet you still regret the two kills the Goddess performed through you. And if you freeze when you should strike, that puts you in danger.” His thumb strokes the inside of my wrist. “I’m not saying never, but you’re young.”
“You’re not that much older.”
“I still have decades of training on you,” he contradicts evenly. “But even that won’t mean shit if you’re in the middle of a battle. My wolf will go mad trying to protect you.”
“Maeve and her Guard managed it. She went straight into war the second she was crowned.”
“Two of my Guard were female,” Maeve mutters. “The lack of testosterone made things infinitely easier.”
I can imagine.
Bree’s face is ashen beneath his tattoos. “In the process, she died so many times it turned the northern beaches black.”
Okay, even I can’t help my shudder there. As much as I want to fight, I’m not sure I have the fortitude to go through the agonising process of being reborn hundreds of times.
“Why is that always what people remember about the second war?” Maeve grumbles, thrusting a hand through her fiery braids as she paces. “I ripped the head off Balor’s second son, Sengann, killed so many of his generals that they had to flee, and then I trounced their armies so badly in the third war they didn’t return for over three thousand years. But noooo, everyone only remembersmydeaths.”
“Ahem,” Mab interjects with one raised eyebrow. “You forgot the part during the second war where their own infighting forced them to retreat.”
