Page 38 of Beneath a Shattered Sky
I’m not expecting an answer, but Bree offers one anyway. “There are, but these ones are so far out of the way that those shrine keepers are often leshens or other fae who prefer the wild. To them, as long as the shrine is accessible, it’s perfect.”
“It’s a good thing. We don’t want our presence noted.” Drystan brushes past me with his own food.
“My lady,” Jaro says, and I jump, not having noticed him behind me. “Might I have a word?”
I peer up at him and nod warily, trying to read his expression as he leads me away from the camp. His gait is stiff, his shoulders tense, and I feel my chest tighten in response.
Is this… it? I’m not even sure what ‘it’ is, only that there’s some finality to this whole situation that I can’t understand.
Jaro stops so abruptly that I almost crash into him. The only reason I don’t is because he dodges like he’s trying to escape a physical blow.
“What did you want to talk about?” I begin, perching against a fallen tree because my knees are suddenly too weak to support my weight.
He paces away from me, then back again.
“I want your permission to join the front lines at Elfhame.”
What?
My breath whooshes out from my lungs.
“My wolf has been unstable since Aiyana’s trial,” he continues, filling the gap where my reply should’ve been. “He’s insistent on mating you, and I’m not strong enough to refuse him when you’re always so close. Last night I woke up, and I was standing right next to you, just watching you sleep. If I shift near you, he might take matters into his own hands.”
“You’re afraid of mating me?” I blink, because this wasn’t what I was expecting.
“You deserve a proper ceremony in the Grand Temple.” Jaro starts to pace, twigs snapping underfoot. “With yourfullGuard. Females spend weeks on those things. The entire queendom will be waiting to see what dress you choose. My wolf doesn’t care about any of that. He’d rather mark you with his teeth like an animal and drip our blood into the wound while you’re pinned to the dirt and writhing on my cock.”
My lower body clenches with heat at the visual, and a tiny shiver travels up my spine. Jaro doesn’t notice my reaction, or if he does, he puts it down to fear rather than arousal.
“I’m too much of a risk. My beast is on a hair trigger. If I go back to the city, I can be useful. I’ll protect Florian, take back the walls that I lost, and?—”
I hold up a hand, and he falls silent but doesn’t stop pacing. He moves like a caged animal, and I can practically feel the wolf’s displeasure.
His beast hates this idea as much as I do.
“Do you really want to leave?”
Jaro blinks. “Of course not, but it’s the only way.”
It takes me a second to breathe past the tightness that’s invaded my chest. “It’s not the only way. I could mate you instead.”
He halts mid-step, eyes wide. “You could?” Then he shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s the same problem we ran into when you were being crowned. As Nicnevin, you need to mate all of your Guard at the same time. I can’t ask that of you.”
Because just like before, that would mean mating Caed.
“I would do it in a heartbeat,” I whisper. “If it meant you didn’t have to leave.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “You would?”
I nod, swallowing. “In an instant. I understand Caed. I understand why he did what he did, and I… I’ve already mostly forgiven him.” I release the confession on a soft sigh, hating the way Jaro jerks like I’ve struck him. “I won’t act on it, not unless?—”
“You’ve forgiven him?” Incredulity and more than a little anger drip from every word.
I said ‘mostly’, but I don’t think this is the time for pettifogging.
“Don’t tell the others,” I plead. “Wait. I don’t mean it like that. I don’t want to influence their decision. Danu already asked me if I’d give him another chance before she cursed him, and I said yes. But I don’t think I really started to forgive him untilhe rescued me after I fell from the window. I was so weak. He could’ve betrayed me a hundred different times, but…he didn’t. And then he helped me break back into the palace to find you, even though we treated him awfully. But I shouldn’t have said anything. This”—I wave a hand ambiguously, trying to find a better way to put it—“drama in my Guard while he tries to earn your trust, isn’t for me to mess with.”
Chestnut eyes pierce mine, brows crinkled with confusion. “But if you want him?—”
