Page 14 of Atop the Faerie Throne
“Fuck!” he growls, as I crush his fingers, bending his wrist backwards at the joint until he releases me. “Just sit down, would you? I’m trying to think of what I can say that’ll make a fucking difference.”
“Anything,” I spit. “Something that makes up for what you did to her. For her dying over and over because of you.”
Caed rolls his eyes and pulls his hand back through the bars, rubbing his wrist. “Yeah, that’s not going to happen. I know I messed up. I was just… trying to survive, I guess. All I wanted was to make Elatha give a shit about me—” His voice cuts off, and he groans. “Took me until all of this shit happened to realise that I’m just a weapon to him.” He pauses, turning back to the cot. “You know what that’s like.”
What?“Explain.”
Caed shrugs as he retreats to sit on the edge of the bed. “From what I saw, you were just a weapon to your parents, too.”
Goddess damn it. I hate him, but he’s not wrong.
I plonk my ass back onto the stool, then regard him silently. “My parents didn’t have my name.”
“That wasn’t the reason I did everything I did, and you know it. He only—” Caed chokes off again, and I sigh.
“You’re young,” I allow. “But you’ve had almost four decades to shake off your daddy issues. Try harder.”
Goddess, it’s almost like he’s not even giving it his best shot.
Almost like… he’s given up.
The thought makes the bed in the next cell over catch fire, turning to ash in seconds. How dare he give up? How dare he make our mate fall in love with him and then condemn her to heartbreak?
“I’m sorry.”
Two little words freeze me mid-mental-tirade.
“I did what I did for stupid reasons.” He won’t look at me. “I was an idiot, and Rose died multiple times because of me. Even after I was cursed, I was too stupid to apologise and mean it. It wasn’t until she refused to charm me the first time that I realised she was treating me better than Elatha ever had. By then, it was too late.
“I get it. I won’t fight on Beltaine, and I won’t make a fuss. I’ll stay out of the way until then, so it won’t hurt her too much?—”
“You’re an idiot.” I’m impressed that I manage to keep my tone level.
“Look, I can’t help how I was raised.” Finally, he pins me with a glare. “Just like you can’t help the stick up your ass. I’m fucking trying.”
So am I.
“Not hard enough.”
He claws two angry hands through his hair. “What do you want me to say? I’ve been following her all this time, haven’t I? Protecting her when I could—when youcouldn’t. I even tried my best to let you catch me. Do you even realise how much time I spent finding a healer for my cousin, and then walking to Roark’s apartment to give your slow asses time to stop me? I even left the púca unharmed when disabling him would’ve doubled my chances of getting away. I fought his orders every fucking second. If I’d truly wanted to do any of it, you wouldn’t have been able to stop me.”
Something in my gut twists at that. All Caed would’ve needed was to be a little faster—a little less considerate—and we’d be having a very different discussion right about now.
It wasn’t enough, though. Not that any fae alive could’ve resisted someone who held their true name.
He’s not lying, and his aura is a soft blue-grey of regret. It’s pathetic.
Goddess, I may have promised him all night, but I’m not sure I can take much more of this.
Forcing myself to take another deep breath, I glance at his exposed arm.
There, in the second frame. A whisper of ink.
That’s enough. Progress is progress and all that bullshit. Any more of this, and I might forget why I came and maim him.
I head for the door like the barghests of the Hunt are on my tail. “I’ve heard enough.”
Caed chuckles. “But we were having such a fun little heart to heart. Aren’t you going to regale me with more rules or some creative threats?”
