Page 13 of Arcanist
Only an idiot would get hung up on the men downstairs, after all.
With any luck, a ‘one-night stand’ will purge my head of whatever foolish attachments I’ve formed.
Messing with parriarchs and their heirs is a bad idea. Inepts are safe. Hopefully, I’ll have crossed off two of my three bucket list items by tomorrow morning. Then I can return and resume my duties as Librarian. I might even consider closing on Sundays if it goes well. Now that I’m alive, I may even take aholiday.
I don’t make it more than a few steps down before I trip over an obstacle.
A pair of tempest eyes rises to meet mine, a larger-than-life body unfolding from where he was sitting midway down the stairwell.
“Hey.” One single word, thick with some subtext I can’t name.
It’s not often I’m rendered speechless, but Lambert Winthrop has certainly never looked this terrible in his life. His shoulder-length blond locks are messy, and the shadows haunting his face aren’t solely the result of his three-day-old stubble. He’s still wearing his magiball uniform, for magic’s sake.
“Mr Winthrop,” I murmur, softening the words. “I trust you have a good reason for dilly-dallying on my private staircase?”
“Yeah… Erm… Well…” He huffs out a breath, offering me a tiny smile. “North said you were awake, then the others said you wanted to be alone, and I figured…” He bites his lip, takes a step down, then hesitates. “Should I go?”
Even like this, he still looms over me, and I worsen theheight difference by descending to the stair above him. “No. I’m glad I caught you.”
His eyes meet mine, so much brighter than they were a second ago, and I tug the sleeves of the jumper down my arms a little.
“I’m sorry,” we both blurt at the same time.
Wait… What?
“I never realised hugging you would hurt you,” he quickly explains. “I would never have kissed you if I’d known what would happen. I can’t believe I enjoyed it while you were in pain. It makes me sick that I was so happy while you were literally dying.”
“No, Lambert.” I inject every bit of steel I possess into my tone, and his head snaps up, pupils widening slightly. “You are not allowed to feel bad about my decision.Ikissedyou. I used you, cruelly, without thinking about how it would affect you. I’m so sorry, and if I could go back and stop myself?—”
“Don’t say that,” he says. “You’re alive. You get to do all the things you wanted to do. I’m not mad. Hurt? Yeah…” He pauses, swamped in thought for a second.
I bite my tongue, forcing myself to wait for him to find the words.
“I wish that you hadn’t used me to do it,” he says. “And I hate that I caused you pain, even if it wasn’t intentional. I know you needed to do it to get your body back, but I could’ve used some warning.”
“You do realise, I had no idea that I would live, right?” I say slowly. “I thought…”
“I know. I get it.” He pauses again. “Being a ghost really sucked, huh?”
He has a gift for understatement.
Swallowing, I nod. “You made it bearable, but it also brought into focus just how much I was missing. I was bitter and resentful and?—”
All of my explanations are cut off with a tiny ‘oof’ as Lambert Winthrop drags me into a bone-crushing hug that leaves perilously little room in my body for oxygen. He says nothing, merely buries his head in my neck and breathes in deeply. My hands hover awkwardly by my sides, but after a few long moments, I return the gesture, patting his broad back softly.
Heiswarm, after all. And there’s no danger anymore. I owe him one hug, at least.
So what if I’m soaking the contact up like rain after a drought? That’s a perfectly rational response after several lifetimes of deprivation. However…he doesn’t seem to have any intention of releasing me.
“Better?” I ask after a ludicrous amount of time has passed.
He tightens his hold, and I’m struck by the disturbing thought that this may be a conspiracy to hug me forever.
“Lambert,” I caution. “I can still banish you.”
The threat is completely empty, but familiar enough that he snorts.
“I’m okay, boss lady,” he promises, words tickling my ear. “But I don’t wanna stop hugging you just yet. I’ve waited a long time to do this.”
