Page 285 of Dawn of Chaos and Fury
“Are they?”
“Of course they are, Tessa.” He shifted, splaying a hand on her stomach. “You can’t change your feelings, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about them. You should, however, talk about them instead of trying to shove them aside or face them alone.”
“I should want to, though, right? Meet them? Shouldn’t I be curious? Anxious? Shouldn’t I be excited at the prospect?”
“There is no right way to be feeling about any of this,” Luka said gently, his fingers on her stomach dragging loose circles atop her shirt. “Curious. Tentative hope.” He paused. “Anger.”
“Stop reading my emotions,” she muttered.
He huffed a chuckle. “It’s a balance, baby girl. You have to let us help you.”
She snuggled back into him. “You’ll be there tomorrow, right? You’re coming?”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else. I’ll be where you can see me,” he answered. Silent seconds ticked by until Luka said, “When we went to free Xan, Eliza said something to Razik. I didn’t understand then, but I do now. She said just because you help here doesn’t mean you have to do anything else. No one is expecting anything else from you, and even if they are, you helping here? That’s all it is. It is not an offering of anything else. Just because she comes here tomorrow doesn’t mean you have to decide right now or even tomorrow how much you wish to know her. Okay?”
She nodded again, staying silent and once more trying to find sleep. Even when Theon joined them some time later, it didn’t come, and she knew they didn’t sleep either.
“You’re sure we don’t need a mirror gate for this?” Theon asked, all of them gathered in the gardens of Arius House.
Theon was focused on the task, and she was focusing on the cool ground beneath her bare toes. The soft breeze on her face. The rays of warmth trying to pierce through the stormy sky.
She was doing that. She knew that. The sky a reflection of her inner turmoil.
Luka and Theon had been unusually careful around her. Fretting and fussing. It was annoying.
“Not with a portal key,” Xan said for what Tessa was sure was the hundredth time.
This was not an offering of anything else, she reminded herself. She was bringing Akira here to help the realm. That was it. If her mother had expectations, they didn’t matter. No promises of anything more.
She looked up, unexpectedly locking eyes with Razik. The male was watching her, arms folded over his chest and mouth pressed in a firm line. But a strange understanding passed between them. How many times had she told Xan she didn’t know if or when Razik would forgive him? She hated thatthiswas what she had in common with the broody dragon who was an asshole ninety percent of the time.
Her fingers curled, chaos coiling around her fingers as her breathing became erratic. Theon and Luka both whipped their heads to her, but Razik only held her stare.
“You control when and how the relationship moves forward,” Razik said, pointedly ignoring Xan’s attention on him. “Somedays you will be able to handle a conversation. Other days, you will not want to be in the same room. Both are fine. You hold that control here.”
Tessa nodded slowly, something in her chest easing at finding someone who at least understood what she was struggling with.
Xan cleared his throat. “She will follow your lead, Tessa. She will wish for a chance to explain her actions, but…”
“But you are not required to hear her excuses,” Razik interjected, his features hardening. “And that is a service to her. If you are forced to hear them before you are ready, they will fall on deaf ears.”
Tessa nodded again, pursing her lips as she turned to Xan. “What do I need to do?”
“Because Temural altered them, they are not entirely like other portal keys,” Xan said, dragging his eyes from Razik and focusing back on her. “You’ll need to use your power to pull the stones from the rings and repair them. It will…be a lot, but once reunited, the portal key will do the rest. The one she bears should recognize it.”
“And if someone follows her through?” Razik cut in.
“Is that a possibility?” Tessa asked, eyes wide in alarm.
“Yes, but highly unlikely. Akira is going to assume she is going to Temural. She will not let anyone follow,” Xan answered.
“But if someone is with her when the portal opens?”
Xan held her stare, and it was answer enough. This was a risk.
“With all of us here, if someone follows, we can handle it,” Theon interrupted.
“Can we?” Tessa argued. “If a god or goddess follows her through?”
