Page 43 of A Pack of Mistletoe
Like beg him to kiss me again. Or worse… forgive me.
When I get into the car with Rose, she still looks as shell-shocked as I feel. Because on top of everything else, there’s the bomb she dropped about the fact that we’re scent-sensitive to each other.
She’s our mate.
But in the heat of her confessions, no one pushed. She looked too raw after explaining the possible infertility and her scent issues. I've never been sure if I want to be a father. After the disaster that was my own family. But what Harlan said is true, and it’s true for all of us now. If she’s ours, she’s everything. Not a breeding vessel.
That truth echoes through my head as I pull away from her driveway. The guys are walking into town. It's only a few blocks.
I lift the center console and gently tug Rose into my side. She blinks in surprise, but doesn’t pull away. Instead, she curls into the crook of my arm, and the way her body molds to mine so easily settles something in me I didn’t realize was restless.
I’ve gone over the therapy techniques for touch deprivation since the doctor left. They haven’t changed since my own diagnosis and recovery.
“Sunny’s pack usually barbecues while we meet. It’s been a mild winter so far so they’re still doing it,” she says, voice light. “Sucks the other guys couldn’t come, but I’m glad you could.”
“They had some paperwork to deal with,” I murmur, distracted. “They’ll try to swing by later.”
“Hopefully before the other packs eat all the burgers.”
I grunt. The thought of another awkward meal with my brother doesn’t exactly whet my appetite.
Fingers brush my jaw. I glance down, surprised to find her studying me, brows drawn in soft concern.
“If you don’t want to stay for the barbecue, I can make an excuse,” she offers gently.God,I must be broadcasting every thought on my face. I school my expression, hoping it reads as neutral, not distant.
“And miss burgers, Jingles?” I add with a small grin. "Besides, I’m not leaving you alone. Not with reporters still sniffing around.” I take her hand and lift it to my lips, kissing the back. Her skin is warm and soft and grounding.
Her answering smile is shy, but real. And suddenly I want to see that smile all the damn time. I can’t believe I didn’t notice before how rare it is.
“Can I ask—?” she begins, then hesitates. My grip tightens slightly on the wheel. “What’s up between you and Cole?”
“Cole and I have a complicated relationship,” I say, slowly. “Same mom. Different dads. From all I’ve heard, Cole’s father was… good. Loving. Devoted. Mine wasn’t. My dad was a driven alpha with grand ideas and zero follow-through. When Cole outpaced him in dominance early-on, my father couldn’t handle it. He didn’t allow anyone in his home to be more dominant than him. The day Cole left…” I swallow. “Everything changed. My mother cried for weeks. My dad raged. I just tried to survive it.”
“That must’ve been so hard on you,” Rose says, voice soft and sure.
Her empathy is immediate and disarming. One look at her face, and I know I couldn’t lie to her if I tried.
“My dad didn’t have anyone else to fixate on after that. He expected a lot from me, considering how little he ever achieved himself. I think, in his eyes, if he couldn’t succeed, then it was on me to do it for him.”
I wince. Saying it out loud feels weak, but her arm slips between my stomach and the wheel and gives me a squeeze that makes the shame lose its grip.
“After Cole left, my mom folded in on herself,” I go on. “Got sick. Died not long after. My dad raised me the rest of the way. Then he died after I went to college.”
Her eyes widen, the sadness in them sharp and immediate. “That’s how you became touch-deprived?”
I sigh “He wasn’t affectionate. After my mom got sick… I didn’t get touched at all. No hugs. No comfort. Nothing.”
“When did you finally get help?”
“Harlan.” My thumb smooths across the back of her hand. Her lashes flutter. I remember what it felt like when Harlan first touched me with intent. Like I’d been starving and didn’t know it.
“We met at a convention. I’d just sold my father’s pizza business and was trying to launch my restaurant. Harlan figured me out pretty fast and got me Dr. Rendon, looked into every therapy he could find. We’ve been together ever since.”
“Until recently,” she finishes quietly.
I nod, the ache blooming again.
“What happened with the omega clause?” Of course Rose figured that out too.
