Page 46 of Venus
“I’m just telling you where I’m at. You don’t want more, and I do. That’s not changing.”
She turns her face away. I nod, because even now, she won’t say anything. Won’t meet me halfway, won’t even give me hope. My frustration is on full display now, and I finally pull my shirt back down over my head like armor. Then I grab my hoodie and wallet.
“Carter,” she says softly, holding the sheets up to her chest as she stands and grabs my wrist. “I…” she gulps.
I pull my arm out of her soft grip. “You don’t have to pretend anymore. It’s okay. We had our fun, but it’s over now.”
“Wait!” she yelps. I pause. She stares. “I was going to tell you this morning. I…I changed my mind.”
“Changed it about what? Us? About wanting more? Do you really want my dick that badly that you’d lie straight to my face as I’m walking out the door? Don’t bullshit me, V.”
I shake my head and turn. I don’t even bother to look at her, and it breaks my heart that she doesn’t even try to convince me that I’m wrong. That this isn’t all some last-ditch effort to keep me as a bootycall.
That she really wants us to be something more.
But she doesn’t. I knew she wouldn’t.
So I walk out quietly, with the door clicking shut behind me. Punctuation to a final ‘goodbye’ neither of us had the strength to say.
I don’t look back.
But fuck, do I want to.
Chapter 25 | Vulcan
The common room is holding it’s breath, like it’s waiting for something. We can all feel it. The silence, the tension. It’s thick in the air like black smoke. The calm before a storm. We’re all on edge and every sound has us jumping and ready for an alarm.
I sit on the edge of my cot, half-dressed and fully wrecked. Boots on, jacket open. My fingers grip the fabric of my pants like if I rip through them it’ll let the pain in my chest fall out of the hole. V’s voice is still stuck in my head.
She met my feelings with such hostility every time I tried to approach our situation with tenderness. I tried, I really did, to make it work her way, and I tried damn hard to get her to have a little faith in me.
In the end, all I got was a broken heart.
And her? I’m not sure I left any impression at all.
She never did anything that she didn’t warn me about. That’s the worst part. She’s right—I knew what this was from the beginning. She got to walk away clean, and I’m still bleeding.
Maybe she shouldn’t have kept calling me, but I also shouldn’t have kept running back. We’re both at fault for that, and it hurts.
Across the room, Trevor is eating Twizzlers like it’s the solution to all the world’s problems. If I wasn’t on shift, I’d be halfway in the bottle. Trevor holds out the bag to me, beckoning me to take a rope.
“If you keep staring at the floor like it’s gonna apologize to you, I’m gonna start worrying,” he says, candy dangling from his mouth. “At least talk to me, bro. Let me in like a good boy.”
I snort.
He shrugs. “It’s fine. You don’t have to say anything. Cooter’s heart’s a little sensitive right now.”
Despite his annoying teasing, I’m glad he’s here for me, even if he won’t say it directly. After the pain and quiet Venus left behind, it’s nice to know that his dumb commentary and stubborn loyalty are a constant in my life that I never have to worry about losing.
It might as well be the only thing keeping me upright.
My fingers just grip a piece of candy from his bag when the alarm hits. Both of us drop everything, and sprint to our gear.
Dispatch to Engine One. Structure fire in Mercer Street’s Industrial District. Workers unaccounted for.
Captain Rodriguez answers the call on the radio, confirming that we’re on our way with the engine and requests backup ambulances just in case.
We move fast. Faster than fast. This is the kind of call we’ve been anticipating all day.
