Page 26 of Due Dilligence (Takeover)
Todd hadn’t been kidding about Pike Place Market being a madhouse, but here he was, staring at that iconic sign. Like every other tourist in the place, Fazil snapped a photo with his phone, then tucked it away. He’d taken a bunch of photos on the walk over, including one of the Starbucks mother ship. “I don’t know why I bother with pictures. I never share them with anyone.”
That seemed to surprise Todd. “No Facebook? Instagram? Twitter?”
Fazil shook his head. “I should get accounts to reconnect with people, but I haven’t.”
Todd seemed to chew on that. “I thought... Never mind.” He looked out into the throng of people. “There’s a bar and grille just up from here. It’ll be slammed, but...”
“That’s fine.” Fazil’s blood had gone cold. “Youthought?” There was more to that. He felt it in his bones.
Sadness twisted Todd’s face. “I thought you had them locked down to keep me from finding you.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Which sounds stalkerish, thinking about it.”
Yes, but he’d Googled Todd’s name trying to find him, too. But there were a billion Todd Douglases. “That’s how people find one another now.”
Todd nodded. They stopped near an entryway into what looked to be another section of shops. “Let me see how long the wait is.” He ducked into the building.
Whatever was cooking smelled great, except for the nausea in Fazil’s stomach. Too many thoughts, feelings, and their damnpast. Of course Todd had searched for him on the Internet. He’d also called and e-mailed and even written letters foryearsbefore giving up. Fazil had ignored them all.
He chewed on his thumbnail. People swirled around him on the sidewalk and street. At the time, ignoring Todd made sense. He’d wanted a clean break, and replying, letting Todd in, would have kept Fazil from forging his own way. He’d have only ended up with more of a broken heart and in a job he hated... all to appease Todd.
But maybe he should have read the e-mails and the letters. E-mails and voice mails were easy to delete, so he had. The physical ones with stamps he still had. He’d never had been able to throw those away. He’d never opened them. Never read them. He’d carried them from place to place. They were in a shoe box on top of a shelf in the closet of his home office.
Todd walked out. “Twenty minutes. Not bad.” He stopped and the smile fell away. People flowed between them.
What did Fazil look like to getthatreaction? In an instant, he wanted to walk away. Put as much distance between him and the pain in Todd’s eyes, the ache in his own heart. “Twenty minutes is good,” he croaked.
Todd winced and crossed the space between them. “We can walk a little, then come back.”
Fazil fell into step beside Todd and headed up a hill, back toward where they’d parked. Though their hands brushed, a million miles lay between him and Todd. “I didn’t want to be found. That’s most of the reason.” His throat was so tight. “With social media, everyone knows where you are.”
Todd slowed and the look on his face was dark and miserable. “Did you hate me that much, Z?”
They turned a corner and walked down toward the sound. “I didn’t hate you at all.”
“You have an odd way of showing friendship.” His gaze was focused ahead, off past the water.
“What the hell was I supposed to do?” He stopped. “I needed space and time.” Not to be held down by a relationship that broke him to pieces every other week.
Todd turned, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. “You certainly got it, didn’t you?” A huge helping of scorn there.
He had. And he’d been lonely, especially that first year, but he’d met other people. Dated men and women. Found his footing. All without Todd there to trip him up. “I did.” He watched Todd’s expression. “But I don’t want that now.”
Todd closed his eyes, pain skewing his face. When he opened them, there was heat and anger radiating from every part of his body. “Good. Because I swear, Fazil, if you leave me again...” His shoulders dropped in defeat. “Not that the threat has any meaning. If you go, you won’tcareif I ever talk to you again.”
Might have hurt less if Todd had punched him in the face, but that was something Todd wouldneverdo. Those words, though, stung and scraped and cut into Fazil. He’d cared back then. Hadn’t been able tostopcaring. “I’m not the one who fuckingcheatedevery chance he got.”
Todd straightened as if slapped. “I didn’t...” He looked around them, then at his watch. “Let’s see if the table’s ready, because this isnotthe place I want to have this conversation.” Todd headed back up the hill.
Fazil almost didn’t follow him. He hadn’twhat? Cheated? Fazil had a fuckinglistof Todd’s conquests. Heard all about them through the rumor mill, in stunning detail, and usually from the lips of the other person. How Todd’s hands had felt. His lips. All that shit.
Curiosity got the better of him, and he stalked after Todd.
Maybe he should have spent the weekend with Eli, learning to ride horses.
Eli’s words and pain flooded back to Fazil. Todd wasaliveand here. Second chances didn’t always happen. For Eli there were lifetimes that never would.
People change. Had Todd? Had he? He didn’t know anymore.
He caught up to Todd and they shuffled their way inside the restaurant. A few more minutes to wait, but their table was almost ready. Todd was a rope of tension and stared over other people’s heads. He didn’t glance Fazil’s way at all.
