Page 25 of Due Dilligence (Takeover)
“It is.” There was a hint of longing and homesickness in Fazil’s voice.
Todd’s stomach lurched. He never thought about home anymore, partly because home washere, and reminiscing about Warminster meant remembering Fazil. Now Fazil was here and longing for somewhere else.
Old pain crept up his chest. Maybe this weekend wasn’t the best idea, but with Eli in the backseat, there was no way to talk about it.
They pulled into the hotel parking lot. He studied Fazil. “Should I wait in the lobby?
“Yeah. I need to throw some stuff into a bag.”
“The offer of a tie still stands,” Eli said, his voice dry.
Fazil’s blush was exquisite. Man, he needed to learn how to make Fazil do that. “I think we’ll manage,” Todd said. “Besides, I do own a suit or two.”
Fazil rolled his eyes. “Stop. Both of you.”
They all got out of the car and headed into the hotel. Todd settled in one of the chairs while Eli and Fazil headed upstairs.
Every worry parked its ass next to Todd. Fazil had run before, pushed Todd away at the barest hint of an attraction to someone else, even when they’d made plans. Teen Fazil had been noncommittal about everything, yet expected total commitment on Todd’s part. That had been maddening as a teen, and had done a number on his self-esteem. He hadn’t thought himself good enough for Fazil. Now? He knew better.
But old patterns and habits were hard not to fall back into, including the sexual ones. His heart skipped when Fazil stepped out of the elevator with a gym bag swung over his shoulder.
He’d never stopped wanting Fazil. Physically or emotionally. Todd stood.
“Hey.”
“Hi.” That was all he could push out of his mouth. All the old fears, all the years.Don’t walk away now, Z.Might as well tell himself that. One of them was going to wind up broken, like before. Almost as inevitable as a sunset.
Fazil studied him. “What’s wrong?”
Todd looked everywhere but into those eyes. “Do you really want to do this?”
His shoulders dropped. “Do you?”
Yes. No. God yes. Todd met Fazil’s gaze. “There’s a lot of water under the bridge.”
Fazil shifted from foot to foot, and his voice was quiet and contrite. “I know. But how do we get over it if we can’t talk about it?”
Good point.“Yes, I want this. I’ve wanted this foryears.” His voice cracked.
Fazil deflated more, and his jaw set. “Then let’s go.” He turned to the door and headed outside.
Todd followed, his stomach in knots, and unlocked the trunk so Fazil could toss his bag back there. Neither spoke as they climbed in. The steering wheel felt hot against his palms—from the summer sun, or maybe that was him. “What now?”
Fazil shrugged. “Dinner? We can start with that.” He placed a tentative hand on Todd’s thigh. “Hey, I know you’ve changed. Maybe I have, too?”
Maybe he had. Todd hoped to God he had, because if he hadn’t... “What are you in the mood for?”
A hint of a wicked smile and another shrug. “I’m easy to please food-wise. But you did say something about showing me the sites?”
That might be a good start. Something touristy. Take the pressure off. “It’ll be crowded as hell and take forever to get to this time of night, but how about Pike Place Market?”
Fazil’s touch became far less tentative and Todd’s pulse notched up. “Sounds great.”
He backed the car out and headed into Seattle proper. Fazil never removed his hand. When traffic turned into a slow-moving nightmare, Todd rested his own on top, just like old times. His heart had settled into his throat nicely, too.
He still loved that fucked-up kid from his past. He hoped that kid and the man next to him were different, or he’d waste more of his life undoing the hell Fazil roiled in him.
***
