Page 34 of Due Dilligence (Takeover)
With pleasure.
He did just that, slow at first, then picking up the tempo and force until he was pounding into Fazil, the bed beneath them creaking protests in counterpoint to Fazil’s hiccupped moans.
Fazil curled his hands into white-knuckled fists full of comforter when Todd slipped from hard fucking into brutal. Through it all, Fazil moved with him, rocking back, again and again, answering Todd with acceptance and a demand for more.
So he gave in and let his anger and frustration fuel that fire, used it to grind deep and hard into the man he’d wanted for so long. All the missed birthdays. The unanswered e-mails. The ringing phone clicking over to voice mail. Every minute and moment of loss and longing, he pounded into Fazil until the moans became sobs and Fazil’s fists uncurled and flattened against the mattress.
“Oh, God.” Despite the tears in his voice, Fazil pushed himself up. “Don’t stop, I’m gonna...” Fazil shuddered and came, tightening so hard around Todd’s cock that he could barely move.
Didn’t stop Todd from trying. He slammed against Fazil, blood pounding in his ears and Fazil’s tears making his head swirl. He chased the oblivion Fazil had found. In a blinding moment of light, there it was, and his whole body felt like fire. Painful. Perfect. He collapsed onto Fazil, burying himself inside his long, trembling body.
Minutes passed as both their breathing returned to something close to normal. He should have felt horrible—but all that he found was relief. Fazil was in his bed and well fucked as he damn well should have been after all this time.
“I need to...” He pulled himself out of Fazil before he softened too much, and stumbled off to the bathroom to get rid of the condom. He grabbed a towel and returned. Fazil hadn’t moved much, only enough to pillow his head on his arms.
His face was wet with tears, but there wasn’t any anger there, nor any sadness. Todd couldn’t quite make out exactly what emotion hid behind those very dark eyes.
“Hey.” Todd sat gently on the bed, twisting his hands in the towel, the way his insides were twisting. “You okay?”
“No.” Fazil’s voice dripped with pain. “No, I’m not okay.”
Shit.Todd’s heart lodged itself into his throat. He shouldn’t have been so rough, not like that. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Z.”
If there hadn’t been tears in Fazil’s eyes and on his cheeks, maybe his expression would have been a smile. Instead, the upward curve of Fazil’s lips stabbed at and broke Todd’s heart. “You didn’t. Not tonight,” Fazil whispered. “I did. Fuck, Todd. I cheated. Lied. Left.” He rubbed at his eyes and the remorse in his voice was almost unbearable. “I was so wrapped up in myself, in what everyone else thought and said... I didn’t see the truth. Blamed you and... Shit.” He rolled away. “God, I’m sorry. I’m really... Shit. I should go.”
Fazil scrambled off the bed, and Todd’s world crumbled.No. Not again.“Fazil.Stop.”
This time, he did. He stood breathing as if he’d run a marathon, his jeans clutched vaguely in his hand.
Fazilwassorry. It was in his every breath, in the wild beat of his pulse, and in the tears on his skin and in his eyes. It was the apology Todd should have heardyearsago.
It wasn’t too little, and it certainly wasn’t too late. They were both older now and they could handle this. Todd strode to Fazil, turned him around, and pulled him into his arms.
Fazil trembled, his breath little bursts of heat against Todd’s shoulder. So much pain and anguish, all from a past they both shared. They’d beenkids.
Yeah, he hurt, too. But they both needed to get over that. He kissed Fazil’s shoulder. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay.” Fazil pulled away, but only a little. “How can any of this be okay?” He gestured around the room.
“You’re here. I’m here.” That’s all he’d wanted back then. The two of them together. He’d told Fazil that over and over. “This isn’t high school. Everything’s behind us.”
“High school. God.” Fazil’s laugh was heartbreaking. “Even then, you deserved someone better than a self-absorbed prick like me.”
Todd brushed moisture from Fazil’s cheek. “Z, we were all self-absorbed pricks back then.”
Fazil met Todd’s gaze, his eyes still wet. “I never grew out of it.”
He cupped Fazil’s face with one hand. “I don’t know. Maybe you did.”
Something shifted in those deep brown eyes. His lips parted, and his breathing slowed to a more normal rate. “I screwed you over. Why are you so nice to me?”
He kissed Fazil. A sweet sip of his lips. “You really don’t know?”
A shake of his head.
Todd took Fazil into his arms and held him close, pressing his mouth against Fazil’s shoulder. He raised his head enough to speak, his lips skimming over skin. “Because I love you. I always have.”
Fazil broke. No sound, but he trembled and shook. Hot tears dripped onto Todd’s skin. Fazil held on to Todd as if there wasn’t anything else keeping him upright.
There might not have been. His Fazil, whom he’d loved and hated and loved again. He scooped him up and carried him back to bed. The bedspread was a mess, but the sheets underneath were dry, and with the two of them, that was enough. He turned off the light and held Fazil tight.
“Can we start over?” A broken whisper in the dark.
The past wouldn’t ever leave them. “No.” But it didn’t have to trap them. He kissed Fazil’s forehead. “But wecanstart again.”
They could. Tomorrow they would. Rebuild from the ground up. They were older and stronger and now—at last—they both were on the same page.
Please.
