Page 51 of Syncopation
Zavier chuckled and it was dark. “No, I’m not.”
“I’m not, either.” Came out suddenly and felt too much like a bald-faced lie. More heat to his face.
Zavier’s grin fell away. “No, you’re not. You don’t have enough self-control.”
Like a slap to the face, but as soon as Ray’s anger rose, it snuffed out like a candle with no air. He stared at the hotel room door, the one that groupiehad come through.
Yeah, Zavier was right. His self-control was nonexistent, especially as of late. Hell, Zavier had borne the brunt of that. Still, he didn’t know what control had to do with submission. “But—”
Zavier held a finger up, and every bit of Ray shivered.
“Submission is an exchange of power. It’s a gift. Youhaveto be in control of yourself to release that to someone else.”
Ray’s heart thumped against his ribs. “Then what was...” He gestured to the spot where they’d stood, where his semen was drying on the carpeting, where Zavier had told him to come. “What was that?”
A little crack appeared in Zavier’s perfection and poise. “Maybe a taste of that type of exchange—for both of us.”
What would it take to get Zavier to fuck him? Hell, what would it be liketo kneel and suck him off? Why was he even thinking about that? He couldn’t stand the guy!
Except that was another lie. Might’ve been true the day Zavier had walked into the audition, but it certainly wasn’t now. Even when he’d flipped Zavier off, the anger had been superficial, born of hurt and rejection and—whatever it was that flowed between the two of them.
Not only had Zavier savedhis ass tonight, he’d listened and cared all the weeks before. Provided solutions when the band had run up against issues. Even gone hunting for information about Carl. He wasn’t the arrogant bastard Ray had assumed he was when he’d walked into that audition months ago. “Could we—do this again?” In a different place. At a different time.
“No.” A soft word, but final. “You’re not in the rightspace. At all.” Zavier deflated into pensiveness. “This was ill-advised of me in the first place.”
Who actually talked like that? “Well, it did clear my head.”
A huff of laughter. “Then something good came out of the night, at least.”
Time stretched a bit, and Ray got the distinct impression Zavier was examining him—for what, he didn’t know. “What if—” He took a deep breath. “Whatif I found self-control?”
Zavier nodded. It was slight, and maybe unconscious, but there it was.
Ray’s body flamed.
“I guess we’ll see,” Zavier murmured. He rose and headed to the door. “Get some sleep, Ray.”
“Zav.” Another word that came out unbidden.
Zavier stopped, his hand on the door handle.
“Thank you.” Tight words. For interrupting Ray. For saving the band. For makinghim come. God, that orgasm. Even the memory curled his toes.
For a moment, under the glow of the light in the room’s entryway, those blue eyes looked back at him. No smile, but no frown, either. “You’re welcome.”
Then Zavier was gone and Ray was alone with nothing but the ashen taste of humility and fear in his mouth.
Yeah. He was out of control. Maybe not like the tabloids thought,but yeah. It was a problem with only one solution: stop being a fuckup. Stop letting Carl get to him. Stop pushing away the very people who kept him sane.
Easier said than done. Ray rose and started getting ready for bed.
* * *
Both Mish and Dom were waiting for Zavier in the hallway.Hell. Too much time had passed since he’d chased the groupie off, time he’d spent playing with Rayand tangling himself into knots.
Who knew what they thought ofthatdelay.
He needed to process what had happened, pick apart the whole thing and figure out what thefuckhad been going through his head when he’d decided to play out that little scene. It was reckless and foolish. Yes, there was the sharp thrill of being obeyed and the deep satisfaction of meting out punishment, somethinghe’d missed so much. Only Ray wasn’t his sub. Raywould notbe his sub. That path was utter madness.
