Page 65 of Syncopation
“More like what areyoudoing wrong, Ray.”
“Me?” His voice crept up. He was giving each and every night all that he had.
“You’ve got to be better. Get more vocal training. Stop hitting the notes sharp. You’re not giving your all out there. It’s lucky your bandmates have talent.”
Oh. Ray’s heart turned to stone. Had he sung sharp? He couldn’t really remember the night clearly now.It all came in bits and pieces—visions of light and sound and tastes. He tried to piece together what he could, but his heart rammed in his chest. The video of Carl’s singing flitted through his mind. So much easier to critique a performance from the outside. Maybe hehadbeen off tune. Probably. Yeah.
“I—” He met Carl’s cold gaze.
“Get your fucking act together, Ray, That’s your onlychoice.” Carl spun, wrenched open the door, and walked out.
All the while, Ray struggled to breathe, to think, to not throw his notebook—the one possession he cared about—against the wall. Screaming would feel good, but probably fuck up his voice even more. They’d just headlined their first show, and it wasn’t fucking good enough for Carl. He could track down the exec, but what would thatlook like? A sniveling kid looking for approval?
What good was a notebook full of songs if the singer was crap? Was he fucking up?
He didn’t know.Shit. What was he going to do?
* * *
Zavier was standing outside the crew bus, listening with one ear, but paying attention to the walkway from the venue. Ray had been gone too fucking long. A few more minutes and he’d grab one of thesecurity staff that still hung out by the gates, and go hunting for him. It didn’t takethatlong to grab a notebook. So far, the only people coming down that path had been the crew with the last of their things, along with Carl, who’d stalked off to his hired car. Zavier’s blood chilled as watched him leave.
Finally, a lone figure appeared, silhouetted by the lights, moving slowly, as ifthe world had crashed down on their shoulders.
Fuck. When the person came closer, he knew it was Ray. “I’ll be right back,” he muttered to no one in particular.
As he hurried up the path, Ray stopped. He was still too backlit by the venues lights to make out his features, but the way he held his body made Zavier’s chest ache. It was all wrong and so different from before. Where Ray hadbeen tall and energetic, he was now slumped and curled into himself.
Oh, he had a very good idea why—and man, did he want to wrap his fingers around Carl’s throat and squeeze so tight.
When he finally reached Ray, those once lively amber eyes were staring at the ground. “You didn’t need to come up here. I was gonna go to the bus.”
But he did need to come. Every movement Ray made skatedacross Zavier’s nerves like metal on glass. “I wanted to see how you were doing.” He spoke softly, and buried the urge to reach out to Ray. He had to give Ray room to move or stay or reach out—whatever he needed.
Ray’s barked-out laugh contained so much pain, Zavier’s lungs ached in sympathy. “I don’t think I’m gonna make the movie night. I’m—done.” He ran a hand through his hair.
“That’sokay.”
Ray shook his head. “It’s not okay. I should be there for people, but—” He finally looked up at Zavier. Shattered. Ray wasshattered. The only way to describe it.
Zavier took a step forward.
“I’m tired and a mess and out of control.” Ray’s voice wavered. “I don’t want to ruin anyone’s fun.”
Zavier flinched a little. Because there was the seed of doubt he’d sewn, with intenteven. “You’re not out of control.”
Ray’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “Maybe not now, but I’m hanging by a thread, Zav. Give me ten minutes and—” fear and humiliation cascaded through Ray’s voice “—call a reporter. I’m sure Carl would love that.”
God, he wanted to pull Ray to him. Or put him on his knees. Zavier studied Ray’s bleak face. “I’m not calling anyone. You know that.”
Ray nodded.“You’re a good friend, even if I’m a shitty one.”
Friend. The word blazed through Zavier.Finally. “Maybe I can help you.”
“What, be a better friend?”
“You’re a fine friend, Ray. I like you the way you are. I was thinking more along the lines of me taking control for a time.” He watched Ray’s expression shift from confusion to understanding and back to confusion. “If that’s somethingyou’re interested in.”
Ray wavered on the path, looking past Zavier, then focusing on him like a laser beam. “You—I—” He licked his lips. “You’re talking sex. With me.”
