Page 82 of Counterpoint
Silence stretched between them for a very long time, and little cracks and fissures formed in Adrian’s expression. The wavering stance, the way his lips quivered when he took a breath. Worst, though, was the hissing pain when he whispered, “Were you ever going to tell me? Or wasn’t I good enough to trust?”
The irony struck Dom like a knife to the side. “Tonight.” He should have been crying, but no tears came, just that overwhelming sense of dread and fear. It built and built, cracking his bones and dissolving his organs. He blinked a few times and everything turnedwrong. “That was the plan.” He shook his head. “I’m so sorry. I should have said something sooner, but...”
God, he needed to hold it together. He hadn’t wanted to be rejected by Adrian, and he’d needed to find a way to exist as both Dominic and Domino, which he still hadn’t. Then he’d fallen in love. So foolish he’d been to wait. Trust went both ways, didn’t it?
Or had it been completely reckless to believe he could have two lives he loved at the same time?
Maybe he could live without love. His heart wrenched in his chest and his lungs tried to flay themselves.
“But you didn’t. You didn’t say anything at all. Kept pushing me away.” The tears that should have been in Dom’s eyes were collecting in Adrian’s. “I waited and waited, Dominic. How could you...” His voice shredded and broke.
Dom picked up the paper bag with the bottle of wine and set it on the coffee table, next to the magazine. “I don’t get the chance to be me—really me—very often.” Finally, the tears he felt pricked at his eyes. “I was just enjoying the time...”
It was then the whole realization caught up and his breath gave out. He was losing this. Losing Adrian. Losing a part of himself—because he could never go back to being Dominic, not like this.
And there was nothing keeping Adrian from telling anyone who he really was. He shook his head as his lungs squeezed shut and his pulse hammered up, a staccato beat that was too fast and too broken. “Fuck, Adrian. Please don’t tell...”
If the public knew, then there’d benothingleft of Dominic anymore. Only Domino. Except, Domino? He wouldn’t exist, either. No one would believe his nerdy ass was a tough-as-nails, sexy, flippant rocker.
Where would that leave the band? Or him? Who would he be without Twisted Wishes?
Fuck, everything wasdone. Over. His legs shook and melted, and his vision tunneled as blackness closed in and the coffee table suddenly became a lot closer than it should have been.
Strong arms wrapped around him and hauled him away from the table and he fell backward. When he could catch air a little again, he was sitting on the floor and was wrapped in Adrian’s arms, but everything hurt, his pulse was sky-high, and his chest felt like it would seize up any minute.
He was going to pass out. Maybe that would be better. Yeah. Shit. Couldn’t even do that right. His gut tried to rebel.
“Dominic, breathe.” Adrian’s strong voice. “Breathe.”
He couldn’t. Not now. Not ever. Oh god, what would he tell Ray? There should have been more tears, but he couldn’t stop trembling.
This time, Adrian’s voice cracked. “Babe,please. One deep breath. For me.”
The distress in those words.Babe.Well, he could try. Dom sucked in a breath and exhaled.
“Can you do another?”
He could. And another and another. His vision cleared and the tightness in his chest loosened. Still ached all over, and his heart still threatened to burst from his chest.
“I’m sorry.” Sorry he’d sat in that bar. Sorry he loved Adrian so much. Sorry he hadn’t said anything sooner. Hadn’t opened up and shared like Adrian had.
Fuck, Adrian’s family hadabandonedhim. And now what the hell was Dom doing? Didn’t even know. Nothing made sense in the jumbled mess of his head.
“It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.” Slowly, Adrian unwrapped himself from Dom.
Didn’t feel right to be alone, though. He didn’t want to be alone anymore. Dom closed his eyes.
Warm fingers brushed his cheeks. “Would you like a blanket? Water?”
Why was Adrian being so damnnice? Dom nodded because both of those sounded reasonable. And a quiet part of his mind whispered that he needed comfort. A safe place to recover.
He heard Adrian withdraw, and blinked open his eyes to stare at the rug.
Yeah, things were getting better. Shit. He hadn’t had a panic attack this bad since high school. Oh wow. Still—his cover was blown. What the hell was he supposed to do now? What had Adrian done?
Adrian returned with a thick, soft fleece throw and draped it over Dom’s shoulders. “Ice or no?”
Dom pulled the blanket tight around him, securing the world a little more. He’d always liked to be wrapped up. Covered. Bound.
