Page 86 of Counterpoint
But he’d asked Adrian not to cancel the reservation, and honestly, he didn’t know if a shower would even help at this point. Parts of him were flayed, cut open wide by his own actions. He shoved the desire to dwell, to replay the whole set of events over and over, to grasp onto the hurt he’d seen in Adrian and roll in that forever.
He leaned his palms against the edge of the marble countertop. Fucking hard not to. When he examined himself in the mirror, his eyes were still red. “You’re such a fuckup,” he whispered at himself. “You’re not really good at anything, are you? Not music, not love.”
“Babe.” A soft reply from the doorway.
Dom dropped his head and groaned. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” No one was. He only ever took himself down in private.
Adrian huffed. “Would you come here, please?” He stood just outside the doorway of the bathroom, before turning to retreat to the bed.
Despite the hollowness in his gut—or maybe because of it—Dom went out to see what Adrian was doing. By the bench that sometimes lived at the foot of the bed, Adrian turned, met Dom’s gaze and—sat.
Just sat down. On the bench. As if he was waiting for something.
Dom was halfway across the room before he realized it, and by Adrian’s side when it occurred to him what Adrian was offering and what he—Dom—was doing. What he needed. He fell to his knees, and pressed his head against Adrian’s thigh.
Felt right. Even more so when Adrian stroked fingers through his hair. Dom wrapped his arms around Adrian and held on, finding that center in Adrian’s calm, and remembering where it was in himself.
He didn’t know how long they sat like that, with Adrian stroking his hair, only that it was Adrian who spoke first.
“Dominic,” he said in that voice that made Dom both melt and tremble. “I’d like you to listen to me now, because this is important.”
Dom raised his head and met Adrian’s warm, strong, gaze. The one that commanded. “Okay.”
Adrian brushed fingers over his jaw. “Usually, when I demand something of you, it’s for a moment, or a short time. During sex or bondage, or times like now.”
Dom nodded. “Not full-time domination.”
“Or submission,” Adrian said. “Not your thing. Not mine, either.”
“There’s a ‘but’ coming, isn’t there?”
“I’m going to demand something of you for long-term, open-ended, a command that I would like you to follow.”
A hard edge to Adrian’s words, to the way his fingers moved, too. He wasn’t joking. This was real. “What?”
“Don’teversay anything like that to yourself ever again.” A hint of outrage slipped into Adrian’s smooth voice, making it crackle. “Don’t undermine yourself like that.”
For a moment, Dom couldn’t breathe. Parts of him rejoiced, other parts yelled, and those fucking tears were back in his eyes.
Adrian’s gaze softened, and he took Dom’s face in his hands, his palms warm. “And yes, I know what I’m asking of you is hard. But yes, you can do it.”
“But what if I can’t?”
Adrian stroked his thumbs along Dom’s cheeks. “You’re strong and you have a heart of fire. You can.”
Yeah, he didn’t think that was true. Besides, the voice wasn’t always wrong.
Except it kinda was wrong most of the time. Maybe all of it.Shit.
“How would you even know?”
This time, Adrian’s smile was sly. “Because you’ll tell me. And every time you do, I’m going to be compelled to prove that nasty little voice in your head is a fucking liar.”
“I—Can you prove it to me, even if I don’t beat myself up?”
A laugh. “I intend to do that, too.” Adrian leaned down and took Dom’s mouth into a kiss that was like air and light. Dom let himself be carried up and into Adrian’s arm, into his lap, until they were tangled into each other.
When they broke the kiss, Adrian threaded his hands into Dom’s hair. “I can’t abide anyone breaking you down, not even you.”
