Page 114 of Reverb
“I can’t.” Those words came out as a harsh whisper. “You know I can’t stay.”
She closed her eyes, but a stray tear fell out anyway. “Fucking damn it,” she muttered, and brushed it away. “It’s not like you’re going to be able to work for a while.”
Not with this wound, no. It would take time to fully heal. He could take a few low-key jobs in a month or two, but nothing where he was expected to be very physical. None of that got to the heart of the matter.
“I will be working again. I need to. It’s not the money.” He’d never asked for anyone else’s support. Always lived on his own dime ever since high school. Went into the military to pay for college. All of that.
“We could still—” She waved her hand, and let the rest go unsaid. It was the same argument they’d had before.
“What, with you off touring, or me off on a gig? We’d drive each other to distraction being together but apart. You know this. We just—baby, our lives aren’t the same. There’s no meshing them.” Not without him dropping his career and becoming another tagalong. Or a groupie. Or getting a job somewhere in their crew only because he was dating Mish.
“I nearly lost you!” Those four words, the way they poured out of her, took his breath away. “I don’twantto lose you.”
He didn’t have an answer for that, not really. “You have family.” He gestured out to the hallway, guessing that the rest of that little knot of people was out there. “You have them.”
“You could be part of that.” Mish brushed another tear off her cheek. “We thought youwerepart of that.”
Knowing that opened another hole in his chest, one deeper and more awful than any knife wound. “But I’m...just a guy, Mish.” He shrugged helplessly. “No one different from any other person.”
“That’s bullshit—you—” Exasperation seemed to take the words from her. “You wereone of us.”
“Just visiting. And besides, a queen like you deserves someone better than a bodyguard.”
“Oh, fuck off with that nonsense.” She was beautiful in her anger when she rose from the chair. “You know me better than to try to pull that self-deprecating shit on me.” Took only a few steps for her to reach his side. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me.”
He met her gaze, and tonight her eyes were hazel and wet, and so full of pain and hope. He licked his dry lips. “You know I can’t do that.”
Because he did love her. Truly did. She was the most amazing woman he’d ever met. But sometimes life didn’t let you have what you wanted.
“Then why? Why can’t we be together?”
“Because I’m not like Adrian. I can’t give up my life to follow you around the country.”
She blinked a few times, and he felt something slam shut inside her. “But you could for money.”
“That’s different. It was—”
“A job.” She straightened. “Yes, I know.”
“Mish.”
This time, it was her shaking her head. “I don’t think there’s anything more to be said. Except—if you think Adrian gave up his life to follow Dom, you really don’t know him at all. Or Dom, for that matter.” She crossed the room and paused by the door. “Maybe you’re right. Because it seems like you don’t know any of us, even after all we’ve been through together. I guess itwasjust a job.” She turned to go.
“It wasn’t! It wasn’t just a job, Mish! I wouldn’t be dying inside if it was.”
She looked back. “But you’ve made your choice.”
He had. What else could he do? “I’d...only be unhappy. That would be unfair to you.” He’d be a grouch and a bother and...everything he feared about himself. Bored. Useless.
Useless.
Mish’s stance seemed to soften. “You could have a place if you wanted. Ray’d find one. For family, he does. You could find a home with us. With me.”
David looked away from the inkling of hope in her. “I could tell you I’ll think about it, but we’d be back here in a month. I need to be who I am, Mish. This has to end.”
“Okay. Then let’s end it. Goodbye, David.” This time she took a step through the door.
“Mish. Keep Marly.”
