Page 19 of Love of the Game
We unloaded the few items he had left, then I pointed out the other the rooms on the second floor. “My bedroom.” He peeked in curiously, but didn’t comment on the decor—which was a little less biker and leather, but not entirely devoid of that, either.
He was much more talkative when I showed him the next room, which was more or less a library. Complete with a daybed that was basically a reading nook. “Oh, shit,” he said. “This is nice!”
I wouldn’t have necessarily pegged him for a reader—a lot of pro hockey players aren’t, but come to think of it, being a bookworm somehow fit Drake, too. “It was supposed to be my office, but then the books took over, so…” I gestured around. “Sometimes I need somewhere not the rink and not a computer or game system. I’ll come in here and read or nap or both.”
His brows furrowed, as if puzzling out something. “A sanctuary.”
“I suppose.” After thinking for a moment, I nodded. “Yes. That’s a good description.” Then I added, “Feel free to borrow anything. Most of it’s in English.”
He studied a couple of titles. “Yeah, later I’m gonna haunt this place.”
I couldn’t help smiling. I wasn’t lonely, per se, but the idea of Drake pursuing my shelves and curling up in that room filled me with warmth. Especially if I could curl up there, too.
We did a quick walkthrough of the ground floor, with its open living room and kitchen, before I showed him the basement, which housed my home gym and the net where Ipracticed my shots. “I have one for the patio, too, for when the weather isn’t shit.”
“I do want to see that, too,” he said. “And it’s just cold, not shitty.”
True. There was some sun and blue sky in between the clouds. No snow, so everything in the woods was various shades of brown with some greens poking through. We headed out to the patio, and Drake inhaled deeply.
“It smells good out here.”
All cold, but damp and earthy with hints of smoke and pine. “I love it. It’s so peaceful. Sometimes there are deer by the woods edge. I’d say it’s quiet, but there’s noise—just nature noise, you know? That kind of quiet. I love people and the bar and the rink, but sometimes, I just need?—”
“To be out of your head for a bit?”
I laughed. “I’m never out of my head. I just need quiet sometimes.” I paused, then added, “I talk a lot, I know.”
“You smile a lot. I like that. You’re—you’re always happy.” He seemed a little consternated by that. “How are you always happy?”
I considered his question, then answered softly, “Well, I’ve been damn privileged, honestly. I’ve never wanted for anything. I could live off my dad’s money. Idon’t, but it’s there and I grew up rich and connected to hockey.” I shrugged. “I’m not happyallof the time. I have my ups and downs like everyone. Get mad and frustrated, all that. But—I told you the story about my dad wanting me to be happy. That’s a good part of it. I’m playing pro hockey. I own a queer biker bar, of all things. I have this.” I opened my arms to take in the patio, yard, and woods beyond. “Why shouldn’t I be in love with my life?”
He studied me. “In love with your life?”
“Well, yeah.” I gestured around me again.
The emotions that swept across his face were innumerable, and the furrows in his brow deepened. “I’ve never heard—I mean, people say you should love what you do, but…being in love. That’s different, isn’t it?” He seemed more like he was puzzling his question out rather than asking me. I let the silence sit between us as the breeze rattled a few of the leaves remaining on the trees.
Finally, he shifted. “One’s an action, isn’t it?”
“Loving is an action. I think ‘being in love’ is a stateandan action. Neither are stagnant—both require passion anddoing. But being is—you exist in that. I guess, I exist in love, and that more often than not, makes me happy.”
Drake stared at me.
Fuck. I scratched the back of my head. “I’m shit at explaining this, eh? Why don’t you go unpack, and I’ll figure out something for dinner.”
“Jon.” He said my name like one might murmur a prayer, and I felt the sound deep in my bones.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you. For all of this. For sharing your home and your peace.” His eyes were blue gray in this light, and full of emotion.
Couldn’t help the smile. “I’m grateful I can.” Then I nodded at the door to the house. “Come on. I’ll grill some steak and you can get settled.”
There was the smile I’d wanted to see, peeking out from the storm that was Drake. “All right.”
Just two words, but that smile and that utterance settled my soul.
CHAPTER 5
