Page 23 of Love of the Game
The itching headed down my back. “I guess itisaffecting me. Because I bet he’slovingthe fact that I’ve been playing like crap and got sent down to the minors.” I shook my head. “It shouldn’t affect me.
“But you want to prove to him that you can still play hockey at an elite level?”
I ran my hands through my hair. “Maybe?” I squeezed the word out. “I don’t know. It’s stupid.”
She gave me a comforting smile. “It’s not stupid, it’shuman.” She paused. “You were hit with a pretty heavy emotional burden unexpectedly. That’s enough to throw anyone off their game, both metaphorically, and in your case, actually.”
I gripped my head. “Ugh. Okay. Maybe.” I looked up. “So how do I get through it?”
“Let me offer you some suggestions for overcoming that train of thought.”
Together we worked through some tools and coping mechanisms. Stuff I already knew, but kind of fell out of using when I was doing so well. Then we set up a time to follow up, and we ended the session.
I rubbed my face. That had been exhausting, and I still had a practice, a bus ride, and a game ahead of me. When I wandered downstairs, both cats and Jon were in the kitchen. The cats were swatting at each other on their cat tree—with Thor taking the higher ground over his monster of a brother, though Loki trilled when he saw me, and trotted over.
Jon, sitting at the island on a stool, smiled over his coffee cup. “He really does like you.”
I gave Loki a pet on the head. “I guess so.” Loki rubbed up against my legs and followed me when I went to give Thor a pet, too. “I talked to my therapist this morning,” I said while focusing on the cats.
“Oh? How’d that go?”
I rolled my shoulders. “Hard. We dredged up some shit I didn’t want to deal with, and now I have to.” I finally met his gaze. “You were right. Something did happen.”
His eyebrows lifted. “Would you like some coffee?”
“Oh my God, yes.” I was dying for a cup.
He rose. “How strong? Do you want anything in it?”
“Strong, and no. Black is fine.”
He whipped up something using some complicated-looking coffee machine and presented me with a cup that smelled like it might revive the dead. It was absolutely perfect, and I groaned appreciatively.
When I sat next to him at the island, he bumped my shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it? You can stay no, but sometimes sharing the burden helps a little? I’m sure you have things worked out with your therapist though.”
Was that…nervousness I sensed between that tumble of words? I took a sip of coffee and thought about what he asked. “I…want to talk about it. But when do we have to be at practice?”
He flipped over his phone, which had been laying screen down, and there was a photo of Loki and Thor as his lock screen and the time in big, bold numerals: 9:03.
Maybe enough time. We didn’t have to be on the ice until eleven. I spewed out a version similar to what I’d told Kara.
When I’d finished, Jon gave my arm a gentle squeeze. “That’s a lot.
“That’s what Kara said.” I sighed and sipped my coffee. “I did let it get to me, but the thing is, I’m most angry about what he called my mom, and I don’t want to tell her it happened, but I guess I have to? She doesn’t need that old shit dredged up.”
Jon grunted, then drank a mouthful of his coffee. His brows creased, then smoothed, and he met my gaze. “Your mom is strong, and I bet she wouldn’t want you to carry all of this by yourself. I think you should tell her.” He toyed with his cup. “Obviously, she’s not useless! She raised you! Has a good career, from what you said. She probably won’t be surprised by anything that asshole said, just mad he said it to you.”
That was all true. Maybe I could call Mom and tell her.I glanced at the time on Jon’s phone, then finished my coffee. “We should get ready to go.” I’d already laid out my suit, so it was just a matter of cleaning myself up and putting it on. When I made to rise, Jon caught my hand.
“Hey,” he said, those dark eyes of his full of emotion. “You’re not useless, either. And you’re wanted. We want you.”
The Otters. I could almost believe that. “What about you?”
God, that smile and that laugh. “What do you think?” He gave my hand a squeeze. “Go put your suit on, Dragon.”
CHAPTER 6
JON
