Page 65 of Love of the Game
“Well,” he said slowly, “I kind of thought by now you might. You know your body better than anyone.”
Yeah, that’s what worried me. My shoulder didn’t feel quite right. It was better—fine, I suppose. But sometimes it didn’t move in ways it could before, not without pain, anyway. “The doctors say it’s healing fine. They don’t see why I shouldn’t recover fully.”
There was a snort on the line. “Don’t PR me, Jonny. What’s actually going on?”
“I don’t know. It doesn’t feel right. I’ve told them, and they’re not concerned, since I can do the exercises and move and all that. Imaging says I should be fine.”
He grunted. “Let’s keep that to ourselves for now. You could improve in the next few months. I’ll start looking?—”
I cut him off. “Jack, I’m retiring.”
Dead silence, then “What?”
“I’m retiring,” I repeated. “Don’t waste your time.”
“You’rethirty, Jon. You haveat leastanother five years of a pro career. Probably more. The shoulder is just a minor setback” He sounded incredulous. “You can’t retire!”
“I can and I am. If I want to keep playing, I’ll have to leave western Pennsylvania, and I’m not leaving.” My life was here. Drake was here. My bar, my friends. Everything. “It’s fine,Jack.”
He sputtered on the other end. “Is this your boyfriend’s doing?”
I laughed, loudly enough that someone came down the hall and looked into the room—one of the trainers—I waved him off. “No.” I paused, then went on. “Oh my God, Jack. You’ve known me since I wasfourteen. When has anyone ever made me doanything? Even my father doesn’t try. Drake doesn’t even know I’m retiring yet.” I gestured to the ice, even though Jack couldn’t see. “He’s still out there training. I haven’t talked to him.”
Silence on the other end. “Well, you should. It’s a big life decision, and if you’re serious about him?—”
“I am.”
He made an annoyed little grunt. “If you’re serious about him, you shouldn’t make a life-altering decision without him knowing. I’ll leave the door open for you. Text me in a week.”
I sighed. “All right. But I’ll still be retiring in a week.”
“Jonny, trust me on this. I do actually have your best interests at heart.”
I was sure of that, and appreciated Jack telling me to slow down and not be foolish about this. I also knew Drake and myself, and I’d already pivoted, just like on the ice. The difference was in this, I had the skills to execute this move beautifully. “I know you’re looking out for me. I’ll talk to you in a week.”
We hung up, and I went back to watching the Lions run through drills, seeing each player’s strengths and weaknesses. Noting what they needed to work on—all the stuff I used to do in our practices between drills.
I wasn’t a hockey player anymore. Sure, Jack would pester me to not retire, but it was official in my head. I always expected when this day came, I’d feelsad, or melancholy, or some negative emotion. Instead, I was excited. Elated. Happy for the future.
Coaching young hockey players? Yes. Bring it on.
Of course, I had to get hired first, but given what MaryAnne had said, that would happen if I applied. Coaching kids seemed like a useful outlet for a hockey boyfriend. Would keep me out of trouble when Drake was on the road.
I huffed a laugh at myself. Yeah. Ireallydid need to talk to Drake.
CHAPTER 15
DRAKE
When finally I made it into the players’ lounge after the post-training media scrum, a small workout, and cleaning myself up, Jon was there, chatting with Alfie and some of the other Otter guys. He was loose and smiling—glowing really—in a way he hadn’t been in a while. Mr. Sunshine was back. He must’ve finally gotten the news we’d been waiting for about his next contract.
“Hey,” I said, and wrapped my arm around his waist. “You’re exceptionally happy.”
“He’s always happy,” Alfie said. “Like summer.”
No one was happyallthe time, though Jon came close. The last couple of weeks, he’d been moody. More contemplative than usual. “I saw JR with you at one point. Did he finally re-sign you?”
Jon huffed a laugh. “No,” he said softly. But his smile—he didn’t look like someone who’d gotten bad news.
