Page 109 of Sycopation
Ray rubbed his shaking fingers over his arms. “I—I don’t know what help I’ll be to the cops.”
She patted his thigh. “You don’t have to talk to them. And you probably should get a lawyer first. We all should, I think.”
Yeah. Yeah. And this was when he really needed Zav, because his mind was rocking and his body burned and all the chaos threatened to close in around him again.
He swallowed. “Where’s Dom?” Because he needed to know where everyone in his little musical family was, especially now.
“Sleeping. He spent the night here, in case you woke up.”
Because everyone bent over backward to take care of Ray when he screwed up. “Fuck. I’m so sorry I’ve put this all on you.”
Mish rolled her eyes. “Ray, honey, none of this is your fault, so you just stop that shit now.”
He was already so tired and he’d just gotten up. Cops. Lawyers. How was he supposed to deal with all this? He pulled at his hair. “I know.”
He did. Logically. He nearly started in on the rebuttal anyway, but his gaze landed on his ankle and the leather bracelet—Zavier’s leather bracelet—tied around it. That brought different memories: Zavier’s touch and voice. The press of his fingers against Ray’s lips.
Shh. Stop. Breathe.
He did. Inhale, exhale. By the fourth time, his head quieted enough that he let go of his hair. “Yeah. Okay.” He didn’t know ifhe was talking to Mish or himself or both. “I should get dressed and figure all this out.”
She bumped his shoulder. “You do have us, you know. You’re not alone.”
Yeah, he wasn’t. He stared at the leather around his ankle, picked up Zavier’s envelope, and opened it.
The note inside was brief, and written in that same beautiful hand.
I’m not leaving. I’m not. Read those words again. Call me when you’re ready.
—Zavier
Beneath that was Zavier’s cell number. He hadn’t had it—they’d never exchanged numbers. Hadn’t needed to. Ray brushed a thumb over Zavier’s name.
“‘When you’re ready,’” he muttered. “That’s so fucking Zavier.”
Mish chuckled. “He loves you.”
“Hecaresabout me.”
“What’s the difference?” She rose and kissed him on the top of the head. “He’s not a robot, Ray. He’s a lot like you in a way—so damn passionate it overflows onto everything he touches.”
“He’s got more self-control.”
“Or more fear.” She smirked. “You boys are something else, you know?”
He had no idea what she meant “What?”
But Mish only laughed again. “How ’bout I get you coffee that’s not the hotel room stuff?”
His stomach grumbled. “Um. And a bagel? With cream cheese?”
“Anything your heart desires, sweetheart.” She headed for the door.
When it clicked closed, Ray rose. Mish couldn’t give him his heart’s desire, not really. What he wanted most was Zavier.
He fingered the note, then set it on the dresser when he crossed back into his room.When you’re ready. That was a double-edge command. Ray wanted to call Zavier now—but he also knew he wasn’t ready. Not in the way Zavier meant.
He had shit to dig through before he would be ready to call. Best to get started now.
