Page 120 of Sycopation
There didn’t need to be any.
This man knows me better than anyone has ever known me.No other partner had ever had the forethought to think about Zavier’s needs. Zavier’s desires. And maybe that was something else he never considered—that what he and Ray had went in both directions.
He crossed to Ray and touched that damp head of hair. “I can’t possibly use all of those on you tonight.”
Ray leaned his head against Zavier’s leg, but other than that didn’t break his posture one bit. “I know. Pick what you want and use those, then.”
Zavier traced his finger down Ray’s cheek. “Oh, I will.”
A sigh and a shudder, then silence.
Perfect. He stepped past Ray and took a seat in the chair. “I need this part more than you do tonight, I think. But forehead on my shoes, Ray, and hands at the small of your back.”
Ray complied beautifully, and the arch of his spine was like art. Zavier palmed his hardening dick through his jeans, closed his eyes, and let his breathing and body still. His need for Ray didn’t abate, but all the worries, all the fears nibbling at his mind vanished. What filled the void was warmth. Contentment.
No. He opened his eyes and studied Ray, his supplicant pose, his stillness. More than that. Joy.
Zavier spoke. “Up, please.”
Ray sat up, his hands still tucked at the small of his back. God, that grin.
“I had never felt so much fear as that moment you fell into my arms at the party.”
Ray’s smile slipped away. “I don’t remember. It’s—” He struggled, shifting on his knees. “I hate that part. Not remembering.”
Zavier nodded. “I’d want to know, too.”
“I’m sorry I scared you.”
He leaned forward and brushed a lock of Ray’s hair off his forehead. “You weren’t at fault. And it wasn’t just the fear of losing you—it was the utter helplessness. There was nothing I could do.”
For a moment, Ray’s gaze turned inward, and he nodded. “I should—we should—figure out the legal stuff. Power of attorney, all that.” He met Zavier’s gaze again. “If that’s what you want.”
It was. They were already tangled together. Better to tidy things up legally. They could pool resources. Find a place to live. Ray’s idea was a good one, but Zavier had a better plan, one with more protections for the both of them. One he’dneverthought he’d ever suggest to another person. “There’s a far easier way to handle the legal end of things than power of attorney. If you’re agreeable to something a little longer lasting.”
Confusion for a long moment, then Ray’s eyes widened and he stared. Finally he opened his lips and spoke carefully. “It’s more customary for the person proposing marriage to be the one kneeling, you know.”
Zavier rose and loomed over Ray. “I like this better.” He threaded his hands into Ray’s hair. “And I think you do, too.” He yanked. Hard.
A gasp and a swallowed moan. “Yeah. I do. It’s us.”
Exactly. “So?”
“Yes. Please marry me.”
Good. So good. A weight lifted off his shoulders. Ray would be his.
Another thought followed—he’d be as equally Ray’s. A little vertigo flew through him, and he loosened his hold on Ray’s hair.
“You give me hope, Ray.”
Ray furrowed his brow. “How so?”
“I’ve spent most of my life under the assumption that no one would ever come close to understanding who I am.” He gave a huff of a laugh. “And here you are.”
A little shrug of the shoulders. “But this is whoweare. You and me. And I don’t understand everything. But I—Icare, Zav. I want you to be happy.”
Raywanted himto be happy. Ray cared. Zavier turned that over in his head and cupped Ray’s cheek. Everything about this moment, from Ray kneeling to all the toys on the bed, carved that into his mind. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”
