When we get outside, the cold air cuts through the last of the heat in my skin.
For now, the estate feels safe, but even quiet places have shadows.
At least for now, I know which shadows to watch for and which ones I can trust. Maybe.
11
OCTAVIAN
My boots make no sound on the carpet runner as I move through the east wing, checking windows, exits, blind spots. The estate's too big, too many corners where someone could hide.
I don't like it. The guards outside are competent enough, but, I think,competent isn't the same as trustworthy.
That thought sends me back.
I'm in a black Mercedes zooming down a dirt road 45 minutes outside of Bucharest.
I'm trying to act tough, but inside I'm nervous. It takes my uncle Nicolae Ionescu six days to discover who is responsible for the hit that took my brother's life. And now, along with two of his sons, my cousins, Lucian and Matei, we're on the way to them.
Nicolae has the area secured before he sends us; he can't risk anything happening to his future heirs, so I know I'm not in danger.
When we arrive, it's at a small farm; goats and cows make noises in the darkness.
We walk inside and two men are tied up on the floor, there is blood everywhere.
"That's them, Octavian," Lucian says, kicking one of them. "These motherfuckers killed your brother."
Matei hands me a gun. I knew hew would, so I'm not surprised. What surprises me more is that when I grip it, I see flashes of my brother's face before the blast. He is leaning against a wall, drinking a beer laughing at some dumb joke I made.
And then…
I snap at the thought and jump on the guy closest to me. I start hitting him with the butt of my gun over and over.
At first everyone laughs and cheers me on, but then as I continue, they slowly get quiet. I black out and when I come to, I am standing over the tied-up man I was hitting and his face is unrecognizable.
I turn to the other man tied up; he just looks at me, eyes wide, crying. He has peed himself sometime during my rage.
I aim the gun at him and fire over and over until the clip is empty, each bullet penetrating his skull.
I toss the gun to the side, wipe the blood splatter from my face, and walk back out to the car.
No one speaks to me the entire way back. I just think that part of me wants to cause the same destruction to their bodies as they did my brother's.
When we arrive back in Bucharest, my uncle wants to speak with me. He tells me the man whose head I bashed in was one of his men who'd worked for him for eight years and turned for cash.
He places his hand on my shoulder and tells me, "He was competent, so I kept him around, but competence isn't the same as trustworthiness. Remember that."
I go home, shower, and cry without letting my mom see. It is the last time I ever cry.
Competent isn't the same as trustworthy.
Something catches my attention and breaks me from my memories, and suddenly I'm back at the Killaney estate.
I shake my head. I hate thinking about the past, especially when the present moment is all that matters.
Now I need to focus on the threat of a mole inside the Killaney ranks. Yeah, I may have overheard some things from their little family meeting.
It makes sense, then, that Callum wants me to check on some shipments at the docks tonight after Keira is asleep. A last-minute addition to my duties to make sure nothing's out of place and none of the employees are acting suspicious. The usual "report back if you see anything off" routine.