Page 10 of Sweet Girl
Just because I have the constant urge to jump his bones shouldn’t factor in to our movie-going plans.
“Okay, maybe another time then.”
I give my brother a reassuring smile, trying to convey to him that everything is A-Okay. Nothing to worry about here. “We’ll catch you later, Cade. Will you be over at Mom’s on Sunday for brunch? You, too, Ainsley. Before I leave back to school?”
Just mentioning my return to school has my heart deflating, like a discarded birthday balloon that’s been hanging in the corner of the room and is now slowly losing its air. My soul has felt lighter, freer, from the anxiety I feel about school. Since I’ve been back home. Since I’ve met Van. Geez, I’m such a loser. Why do I have to be crushing on the one guy I can’t have?
“Of course we’ll be there, Ky. We wouldn’t miss it. And we’ll bring gramps, too. Right, Ains?” My brother turns to look at his girlfriend, who happens to be a nursing student and my grandfather’s nursing assistant at the adult-care facility where he lives.
“Absolutely. If Simon is feeling up to it, we’ll bring him with us. I’m sure he’d absolutely love it.”
My thoughts shift then to my parents, specifically my dad. He and I have gone out to dinner a few times this past week during my fall break. I know he and my mom are still on speaking terms, but definitely not friendly. And he and my grandpa - my mom’s father – have never gotten along. To say I have a fairly dysfunctional family is an understatement. I guess all families have some form of drama.
As I consider this, I wonder what kind of drama Van has in his family? He hasn’t discussed it much. We’ve talked a lot about school, movies, music, our favorite foods. Stuff like that. Nothing serious, though. He’s also been pretty tight-lipped about his girlfriend, Lyndsay – only bringing up the things I already knew about her. She’s apparently a junior at University of New Mexico. Is from the same hometown as him; is also a basketball player. And that he doesn’t get to see her as much as he’d like to during the school year.
We leave shortly after confirming plans for Sunday. Although I have a car, which is shared between me and Kady when we’re at home, Van says he’ll drive. He’s parked at the far end of the parking lot in one of the few visitor spots in front of Cade’s building. As we near his car, he walks in front of me to the passenger side and opens the door.
My heart beats in the rhythm of an African drum cadence.Ba dum. Ba dum. Ba dum...bum bum bum.
Hiding my eyes from his watchful stare, I slide into the seat. “Oh, thanks.”
He moves quickly around the hood of the car and into his own driver’s side seat, starting the engine as the music blares through the speakers.
We both jerk in our seats over the loud intrusion and my hand automatically reaches toward the volume button to turn it down. Our hands collide, as he reaches in at the same time. My head is usually filled with a million things at any given time, day or night, but in this instant, I couldn’t even have told you my name. Everything shuts down as our fingers touch, the spark of electricity that explodes between us is enough to render me speechless.
I pull my hand back with a mumbled apology, squirming in my seat. It’s then that I notice my shorts-jumper has crept up my legs, exposing more than what might be considered an acceptable amount of flesh. I brave a glance over at Van, who I find is staring at my hand that’s gripping the edge of the material. I have to lift my butt slightly to readjust my outfit and I see his eyes track my movement, the dark gray irises roving over me. He licks his lips as they part slightly. As if he wants to say something.
Then they snap closed and his eyes fly back to the front, where his hands grip the steering wheel tightly.
He barely says a word to me on the drive over to the theater, just a few Yes and No answers to questions I’ve asked him. All of a sudden, tension fills the car and I feel I’ve done something wrong. His mood changed from conservative to downright cold. I might need that jacket on sooner rather than later.
Maybe this was a mistake asking him to come along with me. I could’ve just as easily gone by myself. I’ve done that before.
He seems angry with me for some reason and I’m not sure why. I think back to our exchange prior to leaving and nothing comes to mind. Or maybe it has something to do with Cade and the awkwardness between us.
Hopefully the movie will give Van some time to decompress or something. He seems really tense and stressed suddenly, which is very unlike him. His natural demeanor, at least from what I’ve seen, is normally calm and chill. As we get out of the car and head into the movie theater, I say a quiet prayer that whatever is eating at him won’t last long and we can go back to the way things were, when we were laughing and talking freely.
This Van - the stoic, grim and closed off guy - seems a far cry from the one I’ve gotten to know over the last week. Based on his expression at the moment, he seems almost tormented by something. Part of me wants to let him off the hook and tell him to take me home. But the other part wants to make him feel the same way he’s made me feel.
Like I matter.
