Page 23 of Sweet Girl
“Thank you.” He mumbles, pushing his sweat-drenched hair away from his face.
He’d been wearing a man-bun tonight, so most of it was pulled back into a messy roll, leaving only a few wisps escaping at his temples. Most of the time he left if down, either with an elastic sports band tying it back, allowing his gorgeously angular features to be prominently displayed, or he’d wear a beany over his locks. But it was his iconic man-bun that I’d grown to like. I’d only seen his hair down and loose one time before – the day of their pre-season press conference. I’d nearly dropped to my knees when I saw the picture of him wearing a suit, his white shirt collar opened at the top, and his shiny, dark locks brushing at his shoulders.
Unbidden, my hands go to each side of his head and I smooth back the loose hairs, tucking them behind his ears. He gives a soft moan and then shifts off his knees so he’s sitting on his butt, sagging against the side of the tub, his head resting on my shoulder. I dare not move, but take a quick peak over at him. His breathing is still labored, but slowly returning to normal.
“I don’t want to move you, but I think I should go get you some water. You need to stay hydrated.”
My knees are pulled up to my chin, and his large hand lands on top of my kneecap, applying gentle pressure. The zing of pleasure rockets through my legs and my toes involuntarily curl with joy.
“No, not yet. Just...wait a bit.”
I nod my head, because yes, regardless of the circumstances, my body doesn’t want to move from this spot at the moment. I realize that we’re sitting on my brother’s bathroom floor – and ew, who knows when it was last cleaned – and that Van just puked his guts out and the booze he’d consumed is still leaking out his pores – but honestly? I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
It’s crazy, but my brain feels wonky just by his touch and his nearness – as if I was the one who was drunk. I have tingles at every point of contact between us and it feels unimaginably good. Better than anything I’ve ever experienced before.
We sit there for a good fifteen minutes. My butt has become numb from the cold tiles, but despite that fact, I’m warm from the furnace heat emanating from Van’s body. If it feels this good just sitting next to Van, what would it be like to be wrapped up in his embrace? For his arms to be slung around me tight. If he were on top of me, pushing inside of me, slow and deep.
I jolt upright from the sound of my brother’s voice. I must’ve fallen asleep and was dreaming about Van. And from the sound of the soft snores at my shoulder, I know Van is asleep, too.
“Jesus Christ...what happened here? I got worried that Van was taking advantage of you.”
Ugh. Stupid big brother.
I press my index finger to my lips, telling him to shut the hell up so we don’t wake my sleeping giant. My shoulder itches a little from the scruff on Van’s jaw and chin, but I would go numb before I move him.
“Shhh. He needs to sleep this off. But first, can you go grab a bottle of water for him? He’s going to need it tonight.”
Cade shrugs and turns to head back out to the kitchen, leaving me and Van alone once again.
“Kylah?”
It makes me sad to lose the connection that we just had, as Van lifts his head off my shoulder, rubbing out a kink in his neck.
“Yeah?” I whisper, running my fingers over the spot where his scent still lingers.
“Thanks for being with me tonight. I may have drunk too much.”
I give him a dismissive wave and then turn my head to face him, smiling softly. “Ya think? What was your first clue?” I wink, trying to add some levity to the already uncomfortable situation. I can’t help but use the moment to ask the question that’s been burning on my mind.
“What are you going to do, Van? About...you know...Lyndsay.”
He sighs, the weight of the world being exhaled in that one breath.
“What can I do? She’s made her choice. We’re through. As far as I’m concerned, we had our last conversation last night. I don’t ever want to see her again. She can live happily ever after with her baby daddy.”
I suck in a gasp at the venom in his tone. Not that I blame him.
“Do you think it’ll be that easy? Just letting go like that and never talking again? I mean, you two were together for such a long time.”
Obviously, I don’t know a thing about relationships, except my parents. And I know it’s different when a couple has been married for over twenty years, but it took a long time for my dad to be completely out of the picture. So I’m not sure what happens in a break-up like Van and Lyndsay’s.
Is it truly over just like that? Or, are there lingering and residual feelings and complex dialogue after-the-fact?
Well, if there is, Van doesn’t seem to want any part of it.
“If I never see her again, it will be too soon.”
His eyes lock on mine and I see the sincerity there. And the conviction when he says the next thing that hurts more than I could ever imagine.
“And I’ll never be in another long-distance relationship again.”
With that, my heart deflates and lies limp on the cold tile floor – right along with the remnants of his own battered heart and soul.
