Page 51 of Sweet Girl
Chapter Seventeen
Kylah
All my worries and anxieties I had prior to Van picking me up for the concert have flown out the window.
The concert was everything I’d hoped it to be and more. The crowd was insane – jumping and screaming along in rippling waves across the auditorium - the music and performance incredible, and being next to Van the entire night was better than I imagined it could be. Way better than my fantasies.
I am so gone for this guy I don’t even know what to do with myself.
At one point in the show, we were stuck in the middle of the crowd and I couldn’t see over the guys in front of me, who were all built like skyscrapers. So Van, being a chivalrous gentleman, picked me up and placed me on his shoulders. I was a little self-conscious at first, because on top of his tall, broad body, I towered over everyone. Thankfully I’d chosen to wore a pair of jeans and not the dress I had originally planned on wearing.
As they played the last song of the show - my favorite,Trees, we swayed to the music, singing along with five thousand other fans - Van slipped his hand through mine and brought it to his mouth. The light stubble on his lips and chin scraped against my skin and my heart fluttered in pleasure. I tipped my face up to him to find his eyes glistening in the strobe lights, telling me exactly what he was thinking. A swirl of butterflies took off in my stomach, leaving a wake of excitement between my legs.
Then, as if in slow-motion, he bent down and took possession of my lips. His tongue slid expertly into my mouth, hungrily dueling with mine, in a quest to show me how much he wanted me. Van’s very large palm held me behind my head, pulling me him, as I
sunk...
sunk...
sunk into his kiss.
When he finally let me go, I was swimming with need – dizzy from lust. And then my body was doused with gasoline, the fire burning within me blazing in the pyre in my soul when he moved his lips toward my ear and whispered.
“You make me so crazy, Ky. I want you so badly.”
Everything around me ceased to exist. All I saw...all I wanted...all I needed in that moment was Van. Without feeling the need to speak, I reached up to thread my fingers through his hair, yanking his mouth back to mine. I might have murmured “Yes” while I kissed him some more.
I thought I’d be more nervous than I am when the time finally came to lose my virginity. I prepared myself with a last minute conversation with Kady before I left tonight about the in’s and out’s of the whole process. What I should expect – the uncomfortable pain I might experience – the moment before where uncertainty might clog my thoughts – and the potential rush of gooey feelings afterwards that Kady told me to “avoid at all costs.”
She says she’s worried that because of my personality, there’s potential for me to become too attached to Van, and heaven forbid, fall in love with him. And then, if that were to happen, she’s certain a broken heart is inevitable. It’s all doomsday and zombie apocalypse with her.
I’m not worried, though. Yes, Van will claim the title of being my first lover, which only means he’ll forever hold a special place in my heart. But that doesn’t guarantee he’ll will feel any differently toward me. I’m very pragmatic going into this and understand the ramifications. There’s also the little teeny, tiny fact that he’s just getting over his ex and probably has residual feelings there that won’t easily wash away just because he sleeps with me.
Aside from all those troubles, there’s also one gigantic subject that I have yet to broach with Van. To my knowledge, and I know I haven’t said anything, Van doesn’t know I’m a virgin. Now, he’s a fairly smart guy, so there’s no doubt in my mind that he knows I’m inexperienced. And while I’ve tried to hide it through my dorky attempts at sexual prowess, it’s relatively easy to conclude I haven’t been with a lot of guys. A fact which I even shared with Van early on in our friendship.
But that was then and this is now. Shit’s getting real now and time is of the essence. Van’s told me he wants me badly, and I him, so there’s really nothing left to lose - except the obvious.
As we enter his dorm room, he flips the light on his desk lamp in the corner, which casts a soft yellow glow across the floor, the shadows creating dark blankets throughout the room.
His voice is low, almost bashful when he speaks. “I got you a birthday present.”
My head pops up in surprise, mouth slightly agape. “You did? Oh wow. But you got me flowers yesterday. I didn’t expect anything, Van. You shouldn’t have.”
He projects a shy smile. “It’s nothing, really. Trust me. But when I saw it, I knew I had to get it for you.”
Van stops in front of his chest of drawers and pulls open a drawer, reaching in and grabbing a small wrapped package. It even has a bow affixed, slightly askew. This boy is so thoughtful.
“No card, though. Sorry.”
I take the gift from his hand, waving him off like he’s full of nonsense. The package is fairly small and floppy in my hands. I sit down on the bed and begin to open it; carefully. With purpose.
Van chuckles at my meticulous process, and I laugh, too. This is the way I’ve always been, even as a young child. Where Kady would go hog wild and frantically rip at her gifts, I took my sweet time. Savoring in the quest – allowing my imagination to grow wild with possibility.
“Just rip it.” He encourages, taking the bow from me and placing it on top of my head. “That’s a good look. You could start a new trend.”
I shake my head. When the paper is completely undone, I unfold the gift and hold it up in front of me to get a good look. It’s a white print tee, similar to the ones I typically wear. Except this one is aDeadpoolprint with the sloganDid someone say Chimichangas?
I burst out laughing because we had this very debate over the phone a few weeks back about which is better – tacos or Chimichangas. He likes tacos, and you guessed it, I’m a Chimichanga girl.
