Page 67 of Sweet Disaster
“Boys, stop fighting. My God, he’s not even home five minutes and you two are already arguing like little boys, not grown men in their twenties. You’re going to give me a headache before we even get home.”
When I’d called my mom to tell her I was coming back to Phoenix, she immediately offered up the guest bedroom, but when I mentioned this to Christian, he suggested otherwise.
With Frank’s diminishing existence and need for round-the-clock care, the only time my mother can rest is when she sleeps in the guestroom in their small two-bedroom rambler. So, we determined it would be best that I stay with Christian in his apartment. It would be cramped, but it was only temporary, and at least it wouldn’t kick my mom out of the only bedroom she can rest in.
Ma wasn’t happy with my decision, and tried to get me to change my mind, but I know she appreciates it. Plus, she was already having a rough time dealing with her husband’s illness and watching him slowly and painfully die of cancer. I didn’t want to be a burden or cause her any problems.
The unknown eats away at my stomach, which is knotted into a tight fist of pain.
My mom asks me when we get to the car if I want to stop in and see Frank right away. I shake my head.
“Not right now, ma. I think I just need to sleep for a while. Get over this jetlag. I’ll come over in a day or so. Is that okay with you?”
I know she’s disappointed and it wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but she nods in agreement.
“Of course, baby,” she pats my hand from her perch in the driver’s seat. “You get some rest and then I’ll make a big dinner to celebrate your homecoming on Wednesday. How’s that sound?”
Christian pipes in the from the backseat. “Sounds great! How about your homemade lasagna?”
I groan, but don’t say anything. A pasta dish is the last thing I want to eat after being surrounded by pasta, paninis and pizza for nearly six months. I could really just go for a burger and fries.
My mom must sense my reluctance and turns her head to look at me while we sit at a light.
“Your choice, Gavin. You let me know what you want me to fix and I’ll have it ready.” She fixes her gaze in the rearview mirror and wags a finger at Christian. “It’s his homecoming, not yours. So, shut it.”
My laugh rumbles from my chest and soon we’re all laughing hysterically. This is how life had always been with the three of us. Christian was the goof. The one who wouldn’t shut up and was always talking nonstop. I was the more mellow of the two of us, trying to keep my head down and avoiding trouble.
But look where that’s gotten me. No job. No team. No girl.
My life is the consistency of a murky lake right now. The water is so dark and cloudy that it’s hard to see what’s around as I cautiously swim through it, hoping I’m headed in a direction I want to be.
I just hope whatever lies in front of me will be something worth shooting for. Something that will make my mom proud of me.
And someday, maybe, will make me proud enough to share it with Kady.
If that day ever comes.
