Page 79 of Sweet Little Lies
We laugh together conspiratorially and get to talking about babies. It warms my heart that she and Ramone are so happy and they have made such a beautiful family and life together.
It reminds me that Lance and I still have a lot to learn about each other. Perhaps tonight is a good time to discover how he feels about children and what his plans are for family in the future.
~~~
As I lay in his arms after a particularly hot and dirty round of sex, where he took me from behind, gripping my hair in his hand while my nails dug into the headboard, I’m just relaxed enough to ask.
“Lance?”
I can tell his eyes are closed even though my head is on his chest and I’m unable to see his face.
“Mmm-hmm? What is it, baby? You ready to go again?” he jokes, finding a spot in my ribs to tickle. I squeal, wiggling out of his hold to get away from him.
Propping myself up on my elbow, I look down at his relaxed and sated form. His body is a work of art and takes my breath away every time I see him naked. Sculpted and buff, his muscles are maddening. And the tattoo he has covering his arm and shoulder is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
My fingers find their way there, tracing around the tribal ink patterns and the deep cut of his bicep.
“Do you want kids someday?”
His eyes pop wide as if I’ve just stung him with the snap of a rubber band.
He scoffs. “Kids? Uh, I don’t know.”
Nerves tingle through my blood because now I’m worried we won’t be on the same page. That my hopes and dreams aren’t aligned with his. And then what do we do? How do I suppress my own dreams to ensure his are met? What if we aren’t meant to be together forever?
My heart plummets to my toes and I can feel the first sting of tears in the crease of my eyes.
“I mean, do you want a family? Is it something you’ve considered?”
He rolls to the side, mirroring me by propping himself up on his elbow, scrubbing the other hand down his face.
“Mica, we come from very different families. Yours is close-knit and tight. Mine was as dysfunctional as one could be. Do I see myself as a father? No. And I really haven’t put any thought into it. You know me, I honestly don’t think more than a day out. It’s true what they say in the program, it is just one day at a time.”
He winks at me and lays back down on the pillow, his hand behind his head in a relaxed fashion. He’s been through harrowing experiences that have shaped his life and his thought processes. Where I’m the glass half-full kind of girl who’s received all the love I’ve wanted, Lance has lived in the half-empty existence, trying desperately to fill it up with the love and attention from others.
Not wanting to take the discussion any further for fear it could lead into an argument, I close my eyes and lay down on my back, staring up at the ceiling.
“What would you have done if you’d gotten a girl pregnant?”
His body visibly stiffens and I’ve stolen the air from his lungs.
When he finally exhales, he laughs. “Fuck, Georgie. Where is this coming from? Are you worried I’m going to have a paternity suit someday? Don’t be. I’ve always been extremely careful.”
Lance bends down and gently kisses at my collarbone, then my neck, moving down to the top of my breast until his mouth covers my nipple and he sucks. My body instinctively arches into him, seeking the pleasure that only he can give.
When his mouth stops, he looks up at me with a wicked grin. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t have a sexy fantasy about knocking you up. Planting a baby inside your womb as you scream out my name in rapture. Fucking you when you’re round and pregnant and hormonal, so needy for my cock. Wanting it at all hours of the day and night.”
His words turn me on, even though it’s only about the sexual act for him. The caveman aspect of getting me pregnant, not necessarily wanting a family. But I’m too far gone now to care. I roll over on top of him, straddling his hips and reaching for his already lengthening cock.
“Oh yeah. Just like that. Your belly would be so big on your tiny body that the only way we could fuck is if you were riding me just like this,” he growls, his fingers gliding down from my breasts to circle my belly button before landing between the V between my legs.
His thumb circles my clit as I grind down on him, his arousal prodding at my entrance and sliding through my wet folds.
We’ve had sex together so many times before, but there’s something intimate and erotic about talking of making babies. Of his virility being the catalyst for the beauty of life.
He presses down on my swollen nub and just like that, I climax, my body silently wracked with a pleasure so fierce that I fall on his chest in order to stay grounded.
“Mica…fuck me. Put me inside you and ride me hard.”
So I do.
I close my eyes and place my hands on his rock hard chest as he pushes up and inside me and I ride him like there’s no tomorrow. Like this is all there ever will be. The beauty between us and the pleasures we give each other.
I ride him until I feel myself coming apart at the seams again. Then I let myself fall down that hole that’s so deep I know I’ll never be able to climb back out from.
And I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
