Page 82 of Sweet Little Lies
Chapter 32
Mica
Two lines.
Two home pregnancy tests.
A week late.
As a nursing student, I know the HPT’s aren’t always accurate and the only way to be a hundred percent sure is to have a blood and urine test at the doctor’s, but I’m pretty sure it’s right.
I wouldn’t have told Lance about it if I wasn’t sure.
At first I thought it was just the stress of everything lately. I was feeling run down and exhausted. Thought it might be a late winter flu. Or I’d been working myself so hard with the upcoming end of the school year that it was just typical fatigue.
But I’m never late.
After taking the two tests, I’m stretched out on the couch staring at the ceiling, my hand unconsciously rubbing my belly.
How could this happen to us? Everything was just getting on track and going so well. Lance is healthy and sober, and things are great between us. We’re in love and happy together.
With still a year left in my nursing program, my plans are to get a job in a neo-natal unit in a hospital after I graduate. Having a baby right now isnotin my plans. It’s not supposed to work that way.
I’d always had it in my head that when I told the father of my baby that I was pregnant, he’d hoop and holler with glee, picking me up and swinging me around in utter joy to celebrate the happy occasion.
Lance’s response to me being pregnant was definitely not like that.
I realize my timing was horrible, and I could kick myself for how I just blurted it out, after he’d just sustained such a blow with his foot and ankle diagnosis. What was I thinking?
I wasn’t. My hormones and emotions had gotten the best of me. And I totally screwed things up. Maybe if I hadn’t approached it quite like that he would’ve been happier or not as adamant about the decision.
Up until now, I hadn’t really thought of the consequences. It didn’t even dawn on me that he wouldn’t want it with me. Because he said he loved me and I thought that meant something. I thought he would be there for me and we could live happily ever after.
Apparently, that only happens in fairytales and the tele novellas that my abuelita watches.
Dios mio. What am I going to tell my family? My very Catholic, strict, old-fashioned family? Just when I thought they’d be okay with me dating Lance, now this happens. Could it get any worse?
I’ve received a few texts from Lance over the last two days, but I haven’t responded. I just can’t yet. Not until I have a chance to think through this and determine what’s important to me.
All I can envision is my little boy or girl playing happily alongside Therese’s new baby. How beautiful it will be having the chance to go through this pregnancy at the same time as my sister.
At least I’d have her and Ainsley at my side. I haven’t mentioned anything to her yet and don’t even know when I could. She’s so wrapped up in the wedding plans that I don’t want to divert her attention.
Lance’s texts to me have been apologetic for the way he reacted, but he hasn’t said he’s changed his mind. All he said was he wanted to talk.
Call me when you’re ready.
I love you and I want to be there for you.
I’m sorry I freaked out on you. I wasn’t in a good headspace.
I didn’t know how to respond to any of those, so I chose not to. And he hasn’t pressed me any further, which I guess I appreciate it.
What did I expect him to do? Ride over here on his white horse and sweep me off my feet? Tell me I’m the love of his life and he wants to marry me right now and have tons of babies with me, starting with this one?
Fat chance.
I’m such a romantic dreamer. Full of fairytale ideals and expectations.
