Page 71 of Character Flaws
“I don’t think so. Not tonight. I think maybe we should…”
I tighten my arms around her waist. “No, don’t say it. Don’t say we need a break.”
The silence between us is unbearable. It spells impending doom.
“Theo, come on. Your response should tell you something about where you’re at with your feelings toward Alyssa. And me. You obviously have unresolved feelings toward her – whether good or bad, that’s not the point. But if you’re trying to forget them or bury them by being with me that will only complicate things in the long run. I don’t know what we have here” – she points between us – “but it feels like something good. But we jumped in fast and we’ve spent a lot of time together recently. Maybe we should focus on the play, get through the final production, and then see how we feel then. Okay?”
Fuck, I know she’s right.
But I want to fight it. Buck against her logic. Deny that my headspace isn’t clearly cluttered with unresolved feelings or insecurities caused by Alyssa. This whole thing has fucked me up and turned me inside out.
Instead, I play dumb. “I don’t want to.”
She shrugs one shoulder. “You don’t have a choice. I like you too much and you need some time to figure things out.”
Joey pulls out of my grasp, places a quick kiss on my cheek and steps toward her door, fitting her key in the lock and opening it up before I can get out another word.
“Goodnight, Theo. Thanks for taking me tonight to my first Shakespeare play. I enjoyed it…well, most of it,” she lets out a brief laugh. “I’ll see you on Monday.”
Her lips turn up into a slight smile before she walks in and closes the door behind her.
My first reaction is to follow her through and not take no for an answer.
To be an alpha male and take what I want. Scoop her up over my shoulder - caveman style – drag her in the bedroom and fuck her til she can’t see straight. Until she realizes a break isn’t what we need. She just needs me.
That’s right, man-the-fuck-up.
Yet here I stand like a chump, fingertips tracing where her pink, wet lips just kissed me, my feet glued to the ground and my head full of contradictions.
Joey’s right about one thing.
I need to get my head screwed on straight, otherwise I can kiss my career –and the girl– goodbye.
