Page 82 of Character Flaws
He waves his hand in the air. “I’m not sure if it’s just nerves or me that’s giving you trouble out there, but Joey, we have one more day til we open. I can’t have you like this.”
Oh God, is he firing me?
“Theo, I’m…”
“If you need me to step aside and have Marlon take over as Chester, that’s what I’ll do. I don’t necessarily want to, but you are great. You’ve worked so hard for this. I’m so proud of you.”
What?
This is his show that he’s worked so hard for. From writing it to pitching it and making it all come to fruition. I’m the one who’s ruining it for him right now.
Gah, I’m such a nimrod. This is his baby. He can’t be serious.
“Theo, you’ve made all this happen. I’ve learned so much and I’m sorry for being such a mess today. I promise to get my head on straight. I just need a good night’s sleep.”
He stands and his feet close the distance between us. I’m still looking down, avoiding his eyes.
Theo tips my chin up with his finger so our gazes meet. His eyes are a watercolor swirl of hazel and blue, like a sky full of smoky haze.
“I believe you can do this. Do you believe in yourself?”
Do I? Have I ever really believed I could do something worthwhile? That I could be successful? Or has my mother’s nitpicking all my life, cutting me to pieces bit-by-bit with her controlling behavior and criticism every chance she’s gotten, finally done damage?
My voice sounds small. “Y-yes.”
“Okay,” he smiles broadly. “That’s my girl. Now, let’s go back out there and show everyone what you’ve got.”
He grips my shoulders and I think he’s going to kiss me. I want him to kiss me so badly. But he doesn’t. He gives me a friendly squeeze and then steps back, leaving me confused and uncertain.
I remain standing there for a second, debating what I should say or do when there’s a knock on the half-opened door.
“Hey Theo, Niles needs you out there,” Dario, the stage manager indicates brusquely.
Theo’s gaze lands on me first, and then over to the open door.
“Yeah, okay. Be right there.”
Turning toward the door, Theo is just at the threshold when he looks back at me, an expression across his face I can’t read.
“No matter what happens, Joey, you’ll always be my Silvia.”
And then he leaves me to question everything that happened between us over the last month.
I remember the first time we met and how rude I thought he was; and then the morning he needed my help with Woody; the day I was locked out and he listened to my tales of woe; the friendship we began when I thought he was a gay man; the chemistry between us that led us to a passionate fling.
And his desire to help me see that I can do whatever I set my mind to. I don’t have to be stuck in a job that doesn’t bring me enjoyment. I don’t need to be reminded by my mother what a failure I am because I’m unmarried at twenty-six.
So many things that I’d thought were inevitable now seem so unnecessary. Like having to leave my life in Chicago to move back to Indiana.
I can quit teaching but I don’t need to move. I can stay here and continue pursuing my passion. Or I can move somewhere else. There’s nothing and nobody standing in my way right now except myself.
But first things first. I need to get back into the shoes of Silvia because she’s taught me the most important life lesson of all.
Silvia’s reminded me that you need to stand up and fight for what’s important to you.
And never back down from a challenge.
