Page 85 of Character Flaws
Chapter Thirty-Three
Joey
Go big or go home
We’ve made it through the first three acts without any major missed cues or lines, just a few stumbles here and there.
Marlon’s wig went all catawampus on him and he had to adjust it during his scene, but it actually made the scene funnier for the audience. Marlon is a true professional and took it all in stride, using it to his advantage.
Me, on the other hand, have been nothing but nerves since the curtain went up. At one point, I caught a glimpse at the audience and thought I was about to puke all over the stage. I envisioned that chain-reaction puking scene from the movieStand By Me, when the entire audience all started puking in unison.
Yet my nerves were also coupled with a slow-burning anger that’s grown every time I’m on stage with Theo – which is pretty much every other scene, since we’re the focal points of the play.
The beauty of my anger is that it’s somehow transformed me into Silvia, who is a little spitfire who busts balls every chance she gets. And luckily I get to take it all out on Theo, aka Chester, because I’m pissed as hell from what I witnessed before curtains went up.
I’d been a ball of nervous energy and staying in my tiny four-walled dressing room wasn’t helping my anxiety, so I figured I’d get out and walk around a little before curtain call. I was stepping out of my dressing room, ready to head backstage, when I saw Alyssa walking into Theo’s dressing room.
She was wearing a short sundress and strappy heels and looked like a golden starlet ready to meet her golden boy.
I seriously wanted to run up behind her, grab her by the hair, throw her to the ground and spit in her face like I did to Lucy Monroe in kindergarten. Childish, I know, but you would have done the same thing if you’d seen the look she gave me when she noticed me standing a few feet away.
It said, “I’ve won. He’s mine. Go get your own.”
I’ve never fought for anything I’ve wanted before. Maybe it’s how I was raised, to be grateful for everything I had and not hopeful for the things I couldn’t have. My mother’s motto was always, “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”
But that’s not my motto now.
After our behind-closed-doors discussion yesterday when Theo told me how proud he was of me, I’d finally decided to give him another chance. And after tonight’s performance I was going to tell him – or show him, rather.
I was going to throw a fit over him because I think Theo’s worth it. He’s everything I’ve always wanted in a guy. Sweet, funny, thoughtful, gorgeous and good in bed.
Nope, make that great in bed.
And yes, while I know he was confused about his feelings toward me and Alyssa, I want to make it perfectly clear where I stand. I’ll go down fighting for what I want. If I win and he decides he wants me back, great. Then the fight is worth it.
If Theo doesn’t choose me, well, then at least I’ve stood up, proved that I will always stand up for what I want and I’ll go down swinging. I’ll stand up for myself instead of cowering or going along with what someone else decides for me.
If I can do it for other people, I can certainly do it for myself.
And I’m going to start with my mother.
Who, as it ends up, did show up tonight and is sitting in the front row with her friend, Jean.
I about pissed my pants the first time I caught her sitting there. I was left stage and behind the curtain, scanning the crowd waiting for my cue. When I came out, my eyes found hers and I noticed an expression I’ve never seen before.
I think it was pride.
Either that or she had gas. Who really knows when it comes to her?
But whatever the reason, I’m happy she’s there tonight. She came through for me, which I suppose she’s always done in her own controlling manner, but this time it was something I wanted. Not what she wanted.
I’ve been side stage for the last lines, while Theo is doing his monologue. The scene cuts in where he’s out in his garden, pulling weeds and throwing them over the fence into Silvia’s yard to spite her. It leads into the big blow-up and kissing scene in Act Four.
It’s the scene where I get to go all bat-shit crazy on Theo, er, I mean, Chester.
The pivotal scene in the play where the tide turns for the neighbors, who have been at each other’s throats for weeks. They are night and day. He’s a cocky ego-maniac and she’s the high-strung exec who has to have her say in everything.
I watch in awe as Theo has the audience in the palm of his hand. He makes it appear so effortless. He’s confident when he’s on stage or directing from the sidelines.
