Page 19 of Reckless Youth
The fall moved into winter and the holidays were upon us before we even knew it. Cam’s football season had ended in a big loss, which was bittersweet for him and his teammates, who didn’t finish out their last high school game with a victory.
Every year on New Years’ Eve since I could remember, my parents would throw a big New Years’ Eve party. They’d splurge and order flowing champagne fountains and decadent desserts and invite all their friends, including the ranch hands, and their families, who would come to revel in celebratory fashion and ring in the new year.
For me, it was always a magical night because I spent it with my two best friends eating popcorn, watching movies, dancing and singing karaoke in my basement. Then we’d count down as the ball dropped and the clock struck midnight.
That year was no exception, but in ways, it was very, very different.
“What’s your New Years’ resolution?” Sage had asked, as he took a large, messy bite of the white chocolate dipped strawberry that he’d plucked from the dessert table. He unselfishly offered me a bite, holding it out to my mouth as I opened to devour it.
When I saw the expression in his eyes –lust-filled and needy– my belly flipped in anticipation.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about this, actually,” I replied, dragging my finger and thumb over the corner of my mouth to wipe away the juices left from the strawberry.
It was on the tip of my tongue, but it was difficult to say out loud. I knew what I wanted from them both, but I wasn’t sure they’d agree. Or how it would work. Or if my fantasy would even come to reality.
“I know things got a little weird between us, and you know I love you both equally, right?”
They both nodded their heads, searching my face for clues to where my train of thought was going.
If only they knew.
“Cam, I know you lost your V-card two years ago. And Sage, you haven’t told me who, but I know you did it with someone last summer.”
Sage blushed and looked away, wiping his strawberry stained hands on a napkin before throwing it on the table. Grabbing their hands and laying them on the top of my legs, my fingertips traced a pattern over their hands. Wondering what those hands would feel like touching my body in time with one another.
“Yeah…” Cam gave a raspy acknowledgment.
“Iwant-”
“What do you want, London?”
It’s now or never.
“I want to lose my virginity to you. With you both.”
A gasp filled the room and then it grew quiet.
Cam, always the logical and practical one, asked, “How is that even possible?”
I gave him a coy smile. “You’d take turns.”
“Fuck,” they both said in unison.
Giggling, I replied. “Yeah, that’s the idea.”
Cam let go of my hand and stood, pacing in front of the big screen TV. The sounds of the party could be heard above us, no one the wiser as to what we contemplated doing and what I just asked them.
He shook his head adamantly. “No. No way.”
“You don’t want me?” I snapped, challenging his decision with my own uncertainty over what I just admitted.
We’d all been friends for so long, but that didn’t mean I didn’t hold the power to ruin it with this one greedy and unconventional request.
“That’s not the reason,” he argued.
“You’d rather I lose it to someone random in college?”
“Fuck no,” Sage piped in, squeezing my hand tight. “Absolutely not. But London, are you sure you wouldn’t want…I don’t know…to have just one of us? Separately?Privately?”
