Page 9 of Reckless Abandon
There’s one thing I know just as plainly as London does. And it’s that Sage can bring out the best in us and also the worst. After everything he’s been through, that pain manifests itself into an armor that repels love and kindness. We tried to help Sage. We were young and foolish and thought our love could get him through it.
We were naïve to think that the three of us together would be enough to make things right and help Sage sort out all the shit his life and that dreadful ordeal lumped on him.
But as that summer drew to a close, and London and I went off in opposite directions, we lost that final connection and hold we’d had on one another. And the ties were eventually severed between me and Sage over something I still feel guilty over.
London held on a little longer, though. Until Sage finally cut those strings, as well. I didn’t even know that they had reconnected again.
“Shh,” I murmur against her ear. “You’ve probably saved his life more times than we can count. You’ve shown him more love and more compassion than anyone else has ever done, just like you always have. He just doesn’t know how to reciprocate. Maybe, London, it’s time to let go.”
She looks up into my eyes, her green eyes sparkling like gems, and I can clearly see that’s not an option.
“Cameron, will you help me?”
My eyes go wide because I don’t know what she’s asking. “Help you with what?”
“Help me prove to him that he is loved and worth something. That he means something to us and we need him. He won’t listen to just me. I sound like a broken record with him. It has to be you, Cam. Ithasto be you.”
Chapter 6
Ten Years Earlier
Sage’s attorney had contacted my dad to let us know that the bail hearing was scheduled at ten a.m. the next morning. London came with her mom, who sat in the front row of the courtroom. I sat on the left of London, her hand clasped tightly in mine, with my parents sitting right behind us.
Geoff, the attorney my father retained, indicated there was really no reason for any of us to be at the bail hearing because it would take all of fifteen minutes for the proceeding to occur. But nothing and no one was going to keep us from seeing Sage for the first time in three days.
Geoff spent a few minutes outside in the hallway when we got there explaining the process, but I spent that time holding London in my arms, trying to comfort and reassure her that it would all be all right. My dad had promised to do anything he could to post bail for Sage if it was granted.
Geoff warned us that in cases like murder and domestic violence, bail was normally denied by the judge unless there was no previous criminal history and there was little worry over Sage fleeing. In that case, the typical bond could be from a hundred thousand dollars up to a million dollars.
A million dollars in this small, redneck town was unheard of. And no way could my dad come up with that kind of cash. And neither could London’s family, even if her dad was willing to contribute.
None of that mattered, though, the first moment we locked eyes on Sage.
When he shuffled into the courtroom, his eyes were cast downward, avoiding our eye contact altogether. I’d half expected him to be in a bright orange jumpsuit and handcuffs behind his back. Instead, he wore his tattered jean jacket, an old concert t-shirt, old worn jeans with the knees ripped and his Converse.
The sight of him, his face bruised and purplish from the broken nose, his arm in a cast and the exhausted circles underneath his eyes had London immediately crying out.
“Sage,” she gasped, as I wrapped my arm tighter around her waist to hold her up as she swayed into me.
I leaned in to whisper in her ear. “We need to be strong for him, sweetheart. He needs that from us now more than ever. Can you do that?”
It was like seeing one of those inflatable balloons that was withered and collapsed, inflate with air and stand tall as London found her resolve. She stood up straight, shifting her shoulders back and nodded in agreement.
Because we were in the front row as the attorney and Sage sat in front of us, London bent down, stretching out her arm to reach for Sage. She touched the top of his shoulder, squeezing him with a reassuring gesture.
“We love you, Sage. We’re here for you.”
Sage ignored her, his head bowed in defeat and defiance, his exterior shell and armor in place for all the world to see. It was his “fuck all” attitude that he gave to the general public. The one that protected his heart from being hurt.
London and I were the only ones who really knew the true Sage. The light within him that would shine bigger and bolder than even a harvest moon in August.
The guy sitting in that courtroom, ignoring us with his steely aloofness, was not our friend Sage. This one was the product of a mean, abusive drunk and a system that didn’t care about boys who are beaten by their own fathers.
I watched as my father chatted quietly with Geoff and London blotted her eyes with some Kleenex her mother had handed her. I could feel the tension ripple off Sage’s shoulders. The anger and hostility that brewed just underneath the surface. The pain that lingered there like a thousand-pound boulder that he’d been carrying around for years.
I was so pissed that this is how things landed for Sage. Could this all have been prevented? Hindsight being twenty-twenty, the guilt ate away at my conscience. We should’ve spoken up before. Done something to get Sage out of his house and away from that cruel man.
“All rise for the Honorable Judge Bettencourt.”
