Page 33 of Reckless Abandon
“Sage, I know touring can’t be easy. Long hours. Endless nights. Probably some boredom. Bad influences.” I quirk an eyebrow at him in question, hoping he understands where I’m heading with my inquisition.
He shrugs noncommittally. “Yeah, sure. I guess.”
I lock eyes with London’s who stares me down with a pleading look. I know she wants me to say something more but it’s outside my comfort level. I’ve had opportunities to talk to firefighters in my crew about dealing with the devastating PTSD effects that come with losing their partners and crew members, but never about this with Sage.
In fact, there’s a lot of emotional baggage we’ve just swept under the rug during this impromptu weekend together. Things we really should clear the air about in the future. But one thing at a time.
“Okay, man. I’m not gonna beat around the bush here. Time’s short and I want to get it out in the open. We think you need some professional help.”
Sage’s eyes go wide and he snaps his head toward London, untethering his hand from hers and jumping to his feet.
Taking two steps forward, he swings back around, his ire directed at London.
“So that’s what this visit is about? You bullied him into coming and intervening on your behalf?”
I stand up, ready to defend London’s actions, but she beats me to it.
London reaches out with both hands toward Sage unconcerned with his hostility and anger. She wraps her arms around his waist and presses her head against his chest. I see him visibly relax, his body turning from stone into a mass of whipped butter.
She whispers softly against his shoulder. “Sage, we love you. And I’m scared for you long-term.”
He straightens his shoulders. “I’ve told you before, London. I’m fine. There’s nothing to worry about.”
I interrupt. “Then now’s the best time to get some help and support, while things are fine and you’re not dealing with all the pressure of the road. That’s all we want.”
Sage glares at me over the top of London’s head. “What the fuck would you know about the pressures of the road? And why suddenly are you so concerned over my well-being,”- he uses air quotes - “when you haven’t been around in ten years? You just wanted to get back into London’s pants and this was the best way to do it, wasn’t it? Through me. Per the usual.”
If he’d had punched me with a fist in the face, it wouldn’t have hurt as much as his words did. Or hit the mark so square on. I haven’t been around and have no business giving him advice on his life when I have made a fucking mess of my own. And because of my coward tendencies, I probably wouldn’t have slept with London had it not been made easier due to Sage’s presence and his participation.
But he is wrong about me not understanding the road. I’ve been there – in the Air Force when I was out on missions for long periods of time, leaving Taylor and Lisa on their own. Having him grow up from baby to toddler to little boy all the while I was gone. It sucked.
My tone is even and subdued. “You’re wrong about one thing. Idoknow what it’s like to be gone. I was away from my son so often that he’d cry when I came home because he didn’t recognize me. It was also one of the reasons my marriage ended. I’ve lost men on my crew from wildfires that took their life without any thought to what they were leaving behind. The same holds true for addictions, bro. If you don’t do something to stem the fires, it’ll blaze out of control, killing everything in its path.”
As if the universe wants to ensure it plays a part in the conclusion of this reunion, my phone alert blares from inside my jeans pocket.
It stops the conversation between the three of us as I pull out the bat-phone, as my son calls it, and look at the incoming message.
Alert: All smokejumpers on deck. Smoky Mountain Forest Fire in progress. Uncontained. Evacuations required. Report to base within two hours.
Chapter 21
Present Day
“Cam, what’s wrong?” London asks, fear in her voice as she reads me with a wide-eyed expression.
I type in my text reply to my Commanding Officer, Luke Trenley, and check the time on my phone.
“I’ve got to head out to work. There’s a large wildfire in progress that we need to contain.”
London steps up in front of me, reaching her arms around my neck, stepping up on her tiptoes to get closer.
“What about Taylor?”
“I’ll need to let my mom know and ask her to drop him off with Lisa. I’m not going to have time to go home to get him.”
“Do you need me to pick him up and drop him off?”
I scoff and shake my head. “Lisa would blow a fucking gasket if you showed up with our son. She’s already jealous enough as it is and if she met you now…”
