Page 77 of The Girlfriend Game
“The truth is, I wasn’t scared of Teddy. I was nervous and anxious about everything in my life. Anxiety held me captive in my own head for years. It made me believe I wasn’t good enough. That I’d never be good enough. That every time I stepped foot out on that court, I was fooling everyone. The game I was playing wasn’t basketball. The game was about me hiding my secret fears.”
He swallows thickly, clearing his throat and readjusting his grip on the podium with those strong hands of his. The same hands that have gently caressed my body and coaxed me to orgasm many, many times. The hands I miss every night that once held me when I fell asleep, massaging my back and comforting me with their tender strokes.
I know missing him doesn’t change reality. I knew this time would eventually come when he saw me and realized I am pregnant. I knew not to expect him to fall at my feet and pledge his undying love to me or our unborn baby.
Because, in reality, that won’t happen. I saw the look of horror in his eyes from across the stage when his gaze fell to the tell-tale sign of the life growing inside me. The life we created.
“That secret almost destroyed me, as most secrets often do when they’re kept buried and hidden.” Zeke suddenly whips his head to the side and stares at me, his cool eyes boring into mine. I can’t help but flinch, feeling naked under the scrutiny of his stare. He returns his attention to the crowd. “I was living with paralyzing fear and monstrous dread. These dragons cursed me day in and day out until I finally found my own personal dragon slayer. I began working with the brilliant and capable psychologist, Dr. Kendall Rush. Through her approach using techniques from her Rush Method therapy, she gave me the tools within my arsenal to kill my demons and slay my own dragons.
“If it weren’t for Dr. Rush, I might not be standing here on this stage tonight. You see, we athletes are not gods or superheroes, regardless of the way our fans want to put us on pedestals. We don’t possess special powers and we aren’t superhuman. Weareall human and weareall flawed. We may be a force to be reckoned with out on the court or in the field, but some of us are trapped inside here.” Zeke taps the side of his forehead with a finger.
“Thankfully, I found the key to solving my mental health dilemma. My very own personal superhero is the one we honor tonight—Dr. Kendall Rush. Without her, my life would be very different tonight. She’s...”
Zeke stops mid-sentence, looks down at his note cards, and turns his head to pin me with a hard glare and then back to the crowd.
He clears his throat. “Please welcome, the deserving recipient of the Pilots’ Progress Award, Dr. Kendall Rush.”
My feet somehow carry me to center stage amidst the applause, where Zeke watches me carefully, a smile plastered across his face, his arms outstretched as if to offer me a hug. When I’m within inches of him, he bends forward, one hand cupping the bicep closest to the crowd. The other hand hidden away from the crowd he places on the side of my protruding belly. Then he hisses in my ear in an angry whisper, too quiet for anyone else to hear but me.
“You owe me an explanation. Tonight.”
I let out a strangled protest, trying to keep the smile across my face as he plants a kiss on my cheek.
He pushes away, and I’m left to fight back tears of guilt and shame as I face a crowd who is here to honor a person of integrity and a pillar of our community.
I bear none of those qualities right now. Not even close.
I’m just a big ol’ fat pregnant liar who’s kept a secret for months from the man she loves.
Go ahead. Hand me a plaque. I deserve that.
