Page 58 of Off the Stick
How do I answer any of those complex questions in a way that a four-year-old can understand?
It all boils down to one thing: I’m scared to reveal the truth.
The reason my daughter hasn’t known her father is because I kept them both in the dark.And now that he’s in our lives, the deceit becomes harder to live with.
As I begin to re-examine the decision I’ve stuck to all these years, the memories start to dismantle themselves piece by piece, and the picture zooms into focus clearer than ever before.
I’ve been protecting my own heart, not just my daughter’s.
Carmen flaps her hand in front of the camera, drawing my attention back to our conversation.“Hello.Are you still with me, Hal?”
I blink away my remorse.My voice cracks over words that come out in a ragged whisper.“Yeah, okay.You’re right.”
Her eyes grow comically wide.“What?Can you repeat that?Did you just admit that I’m right?”
She whoops out a loud, gleeful noise and throws her head back with a cackle, pointing her index fingers alternately to the ceiling in a dance of celebration.“I’m right.I’m right.I’m so fucking riiiiiight.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.I’m hanging up on you now, you brat,” I warn, sticking my tongue out like a juvenile.“You’re being a dick.”
“Fine, sorry.I got carried away, but can you blame me?Usually, you’re the voice of reason.It’s just so out of character for you to be wrong.”
I flip her off.“I’m not wrong, per se.You just happen to have a strong argument and case.You are a lawyer, after all.”
“Lawyer-to-be.If I ever get through these exams with my head intact.”She scrubs a hand over her face.“Jesus, it’s killing me.But your boy troubles are a good distraction.Thanks for that.”
“So glad my chaotic life can be such a helpful distraction for you.”I snort just as a text pops up on my screen.“Hold on a second.I have an incoming text.It could be my dad.”
I tap the phone and the video of Carmy’s face disappears as I click over to the text app.When I see who it’s from, my stomach does a somersault.
Hockey Boy: I’m here to officially invite you out on a date.
Here?Here, where?
The next text follows closely behind, and I jump off the couch in a panic.
Hockey Boy: Come to the door.I’m on your front porch.
I spin around in a circle and can hear Carmy on the line saying, “What’s going on, Hal?”at the same time there’s a knock on the door.
“Carmy, holy shit.”I click back to the video chat, and my eyes are wild with panic.“Dane’s here.Right now.At my house.”
“Well then, go answer the freaking door, Halle,” she instructs me matter-of-factly.And then in a hushed whisper, she says, “And I hope you’ve shaved your legs and pussy in the last year.”
I don’t have time for a snotty response before the line goes black and she disappears from my screen, leaving me standing in the middle of the room, about to let in trouble.
I do a quick scan of my attire, completely spacing on what I threw on earlier when we got home from work.My cropped Vikings T-shirt has a stain on it from the SpaghettiOs I made for Lenni’s dinner, and my bottom half is clad in only a pair of cotton pajama shorts.No socks or shoes, and my hair is hanging sideways in a messy ponytail.
Carm’s comment about my shaving needs has me doing a quick fly-by of my shins, rubbing the bottom of my foot over my calf to verify the state of my stubble.All good there.
I unlock the deadbolts and swing the door open.If I’m dressed in comfy wear, Dane is blindingly handsome in a gray suit jacket and crisp white shirt, the top two buttons undone to show a bit of his chest hair.I swallow thickly, my tummy doing a shimmy of desire over his appearance.
Dane’s eyes cast a slow, sensual gaze over my body, his perusal sending pinpricks of pleasure as he hovers at my bare stomach and my breasts before he stops at my mouth.
I can’t help but bite down on my bottom lip.
“What are you doing here?”I ask, glancing at the time on the phone I’m still clutching in my hand.“It’s late and I have a sleeping child in here.”
He leans casually against the doorjamb and from behind his back pulls out a bouquet of pink Gerber daisies surrounded by an assortment of greenery and white baby’s breath.
