Page 15 of Off the Stick
Is she thinking what I am?How she was adamant she didn’t want anything to do with me because I was ahockey boy, as she called me?How I won her over, and we spent every moment we could in that short time we had that winter?
Does she remember how intense things were between us?How good they were?So good that she gave me her virginity?
I was such a dumbass for giving it all up and walking away from her.
A wave of regret washes over me.I clear my throat, now dry from the memories that haunt me and the awkwardness of this moment.It’s one thing to have a run-in with an ex, but then to add her dad and her child, to boot?The longer I stay, the more likely I am to say something stupid.I need to get out of here.
“Well, hey, it was good to see you both again,” I blurt out, reaching a hand to clap Clint on the back and turning toward Halle again.I don’t know what I expected when I stopped down to say hello, but it sure wasn’t this.
She’s a mom.I itch to learn more about her life, but now isn’t the time or the place.
“I’ll see you around, Cherry.Maybe we can do lunch or coffee after practice someday soon.I’d love to properly catch up.”
I’m about to place a kiss on Halle’s cheek but stop myself, remembering where and who we are now.
Instead, I grin widely at Lennon and wiggle my fingers in front of her face.Then I bop the tip of her nose with a fingertip.
“Nice to meet you, too, Lulu Lennon.I hope you’re coming to watch my game tonight too.”
Her face contorts into a frown of protest.“My name’s notLulu.It’s just Lenni.”
I chuckle and give Halle one final glance before I head toward the elevators.
As I wait for the doors to open, I hear Lenni ask her mom a question, and I smile.
“Mama, why did Ax call you Cherry?”
8
Halle
I need a life-size facepalm emoji to use right now as I remain rooted utterly speechless after this unexpected run-in with Dane.I can feel the attention from both my dad and PJ on me.
My dad stares at me with an eyebrow quirked skyward, and I know exactly what he’s thinking.
Hal,you need to tell Dane about his daughter.
This entire situation is a complete clusterfuck and unbelievably complicated.Dane just met his daughter for the first time and doesn’t even know it.
Gah!I am an idiot for letting this happen.
Lenni wiggles in my arms.“Mama, let me down.I want to put your picture on your desk.”
I absently do as my daughter requests and direct her to the cube next door while my dad introduces himself to PJ.They begin chatting about the recent preseason games and how the team looks for the year ahead.Even in my daze from the conversation with Dane, I can hear the level of unrestrained excitement my dad has over attending the game, and it makes me so happy that I can give him this opportunity.
As I help Lenni find the tape in my desk drawer, I mull over all the hundreds of possibilities I’ve rehearsed in my head about how I will someday explain to Dane that we made a child together.
But that someday isn’t today.The timing has to be perfect.It’s not every day you share such important news with the father of your child.
I’ve considered every option, including springing it on him when he’s having one of the best days ever.Like, sharing it with him after he wins the Stanley Cup.He’d be on such a hockey-loving high that the idea of becoming an instant father wouldn’t faze him.
I’d go up to him outside of the locker rooms, look him in the eye, and say, “Congratulations, Ax.You did it!You won the Cup!Oh, and by the way, you also have a daughter you never knew about!Isn’t that great news?DING DING DING.You’re thebigwinner!”
Corny and lame, I know.But how else do you go about breaking the news to your former boyfriend—I guess I can call him that—that he knocked you up five years ago and is now a father?
And then there’s the tiny little issue that I’ve kept this news from him all this time.Since I have no clue how Dane may feel about the subject, I have to prepare for the various emotions that may arise.Anger.Confusion.Denial.And maybe even grief.
The best-case scenario?That Dane will be empathetic and understand the reasons why I chose to keep him in the dark after I learned I was pregnant and not to pursue any paternity rights.
