Page 57 of Off the Stick
It only makes me admire her more, makes me want to be someone she can rely on to help her and Lenni, but it’s more than that.I care for Halle in a way I’ve never cared for another woman.
And then there’s this pull of attraction I can’t deny.All it took was seeing her again and a fire that had long been dormant roared back to life and became a wildfire threatening to burn out of control.
I want this woman.
I want her as more than a friend.
I want her badly.
The corners of my mouth turn up into a confident grin.And I know just how I’m going to change her mind.
28
Halle
“Why the hell wouldn’t you say yes?There’s nothing to think about.Just fucking go.”
I stare into the video screen, where Carmy is currently giving me hell over my indecisive answer to Dane’s request.
I sigh.“Carm, it’s not that simple.And keep your swearing voice down.Lenni might overhear.”
“It is that simple,” she spits out in a shushed whisper.“You’re just making it extra difficult.”
Sometimes, Carm just doesn’t get my reality or see things from my perspective.She’s not a working woman raising a child on her own.Carmy doesn’t have to worry about taking care of anyone but herself.
While she’s my best friend and I love her to death, her outlook on life is skewed and has been since we first met.She was born into wealth and privilege, an only child doted on by her parents and spoiled to the point of annoyance.Carm doesn’t have to worry about anything but passing her boards.
“I can’t go out with Dane Axelrod.Period.End of story.”
Carm sits up against her headboard and scowls at me.“You’re so stubborn, Hal.Goddammit.You drive me nuts sometimes.”
“Right back atcha, bitch,” I counter, comically scrunching my face at her.She bursts out laughing and I follow suit.
Then her expression turns serious.And a serious Carmen is deadly.It’s why I know she will be a great prosecutor someday.I’d hate to be on the other side of a courtroom from her.
“Listen.You have an opportunity to reconnect with the father of your child.Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, it still gives you the chance to form a new relationship with him.In the end, Lenni can see her parents together in a respectful and friendly arrangement.”
“You’re saying I should go on a date with Dane for Lenni’s sake?”
She chuckles.“No, bitch.I’m saying, go out with Dane, get down and dirty and your clocks wound, then decide how you want to play it.Either way, you get some dick.And we both know that’s what you need.”
“My clocks wound?”I repeat, smacking my palm across my forehead.“Does everything always have to be about sex with you?”
Carmy leans into the screen so that her eyes and nose zoom in close.“Girl, need I remind you?Sex is what got you into this situation in the first place.Maybe it can help get you out of it.”
“I don’t need to get out of anything!”I grouse like the cranky, sex-starved woman my friend says I am.But I lie and try to make myself believe it too.“I’m just fine the way things are.I’m happy.Lenni’s happy.”
“Sure, sure.Everyone is just fine.Except that Lenni is going to someday—probably sooner rather than later—ask more about her father.If you don’t do it now, there could come a shitload of resentment in the future.”
I growl because Carmen’s right.Lenni’s already expressed interest in who her dad is and why she doesn’t have one.So far, I’ve been able to easily divert the conversation and downplay the question by telling her that she has everyone she needs in her life.
But am I being fair by keeping this tightly held secret?
Am I gambling with her future?And hurting mine in the process?
I know Dane has been patiently waiting for me to let us tell Lenni.He wants the three of us to sit down and explain to her that Dane is her daddy.But even that opens the floodgates to a myriad of questions I’m not sure how to answer.
Ones like: Where has Dane been?Why don’t we all live together?Did Dane not love her?
